Tripping, Tipping on Tips...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...Too many places online tell you that no matter how shitty the service is that you MUST tip! I don't agree!

If a waiter or waitress wants to keep their customers, keep their job and keep their employer in business they need to do their damn job!

I've gotten really tired of the, "but I'm OWED a Jooooob!" whine by whoever is making the current whine. I've served at counters. I've done my time at fast food. And garnered tips! which is harder than hell! I've served bar at pizza places! I've sold jewelry on commission. I've had some pretty crummy jobs to make ends meet and to help pay my way through college and I get that waiters and waitresses don't get minimum wage. Thus it behooves them to serve their customers.

Because you want to know a secret? Lean closer....MOST CUSTOMERS FEEL DAMN GUILTY IF THEY DON'T TIP! So if we aren't tipping, there is a good reason! And it's not that our panties are in a twist, or that we're in a bad mood! Normally it's that we've gotten such crappy service that we just can't justify laying down any more money we really can't afford to reward such crappy behavior. I don't reward toddlers' crappy behavior; why would I do it with adults? They don't learn from it either.

So here are the rules I learned from my Dad about tipping (this was a while ago, but my income hasn't gone up since 1996, so my tips probably won't either. Your income probably does, so you can adjust for income!)

Excellent service:
20%+
Fair service
10%-15%
Borderline
5%
Maitre de: (bribe for seating)$50+ depending on snoot factor of place and maitre de
Note: doesn't normally work for females, females either have to dress the part, or end up by the kitchen door, or equivalent. just sayin'
Chefs or Bus boys 5%
Bellhops $1-$10
Maids $5-$20 depending on length of stay
Bar waitresses the change from next closest denomination or 10-20% of round
Hairdressers, box people, door men, valets $1-$10 depending on location

VERY BAD SERVICE, so bad you want to tell them you would have tipped, but their service sucked!!  $0.01

But nowadays I always feel like everyone has their hand out for a handout. I'm on a fixed income and I compute a tip into the cost of my meal when I go out. But it also means I go out much less frequently. Those dollars are hard to come by in my life.

So when that time is ruined by shitty service. I don't take it quietly, or lying down. I only have about 4 or 5 restaurants I can even still eat at with my medical conditions anymore since most of them use food with additives or preservatives I can't physically eat. So the few I CAN eat at, I work into my schedule selectively.

I know I'm probably a dinosaur. But this dinosaur has a very limited food supply and a limited budget like the rest of the world is coming to, and gee, maybe if more people valued their pennies and realised that the single penny they saw on the table was actually the message of one MIGHTILY PISSED OFF customer, they might mend their service and keep their restaurant, their job, and the economy going.

I've been told by friends of mine that women are the WORST tippers so they get the worst service. Especially women in SUITS. It always makes me giggle. Because I would probably be one of the better tippers, if I'm treated decently. But when I'm ignored or treated rudely, watch the f* out! I will be in your face. I will take my cane and my drink up to the drink station and fill it. I will tell your manager I had a crappy meal AND I will report it on the website. Because I am just THAT fed UP with SHITTY service. So the next time you think you have this little old lady with the cane in the corner with her book pegged. Think twice! of course, they might be spitting in my food? who knows?

just my 1 or 2 cents of a tip...ped off goddess....

I don't have any close friends anymore, but I somehow always have conversation...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...I meet the most interesting people on the transit system, but then, I find people fascinating. I almost feel like I'm having too much fun when I commute, that it should be more of a hardship, like for my early twenties son.

 I feel so sorry for him. He invariably gets these half, (or totally) potted older women who stink to high heaven of booze, body odor, cigarettes and gods know what else that INSIST on sitting in seats next to him. And then edge closer and closer pushing their elbows and more of their bodies into him as the ride goes on. Anyone who knows him knows he's REALLY fastidious about his personal appearance and cleanliness, and then he gets the same migraines from toxic volatile chemicals as I do...and having someone shove it constantly under your nose...UcK!

But he and his sister are probably right that if he said something, being a white male in his 20's, a member of the "privileged class," that a whole scene would be started, and he would NOT come out of it well. I don't really understand why it should be so different. Though I do know it will.

 I can watch it play out in my head like one of those TV shows about moral choices and watch the strangers react badly to him when he is the wronged party.

It's taking liberalism and Political Correctness too far. Don't Get ME WRONG!
 I AM THE POSTER CHILD FOR PC AND LIBERALISM.
BUT NOT. I REPEAT. NOT---
WHEN IT VIOLATES COMMON SENSE!
And that is where that pendulum is starting to swing, both ways--- liberal and conservative, both are violating common sense and common decency, compassion and empathy for their fellow human beings.

I didn't mean to start this to lecture, just to update on how many interesting conversations I can have on the transit system going to appointments now that I had to get rid of my car.

A good friend of mine from college, Rory A. Miller, who writes the Chiron Training blog, as well as many excellent books on the subjects of martial arts and responding to violence, used to tell stories about riding the Trimet buses over school breaks and living homeless on Portland streets, and he'd make all of us see the humor in the situations that really weren't that humorous at all. But he has a special way of looking at things. I remember his slightly warped view of life as I look at my new world through my cloudy-mist eyes and talk to the people in it.

I met an older black woman who was so stylish she put me to instant shame. The turban was a kicken' 1930's look and the raccoon long coat draped over her shoulders set off her black pantsuit and leather alligator shoes. It all looked vintage. But vintage with style and flair. When I complemented her outfit we hit it off immediately, and we got to talking about our lives and her loves and her man that was still coming around looking for, "somethin', somethin'. You know how those men are. He cheated on me, but it may be worth it just to sample it again before I kick it out. Opportunities don't come by so often anymore at our age." We laughed so long before she got off the streetcar... We were like young girls being naughty in the corner and embarrassing the poor boy sitting across the aisle. I then, of course, being totally oblivious to his blushes got off at my stop 5 minutes later with my walker and a small chuckle. Bet he never makes the mistake of thinking old ladies don't giggle over old men. LOL


And then there was the young man in his late twenties or thirties buried in a book talking about sailing around the world. He thought it would be amazing to build a boat and do it. I could see the spark in his eyes. Maybe a Thor Heyerdaul, who knows?

There were the Water Engineers from England, the World Championship for track and field? I believe, where I was at the correct time to meet the families of the Australians, Germans, and some of the English, and the young Spanish émigré who thought Portland was the most accepting place she had ever lived though she laughed and said she would remember my description of being, "self consciously weird." That it fit quite a few of the Portlander's she had met...others just reveled in their weirdness. lol

I thought I would read many more books while riding transit, and I do keep a book or two with me. But far and above more interesting are the people and their stories and their lives.

....reflections of a puzzled goddess...

don't take my energy...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I am, as those overly PC people put it, "differently-abled." I've railed against it, against my genetics, against gods, and all involved.

Most people don't get it because it's invisible. Over the years I've commiserated with others in similar situations because they too, understand...that's why I'm frustrated and get pissed off when they blithely steal my family's spoons. Yes, I consider it a theft. Because otherwise I was in an untenable situation and would look bad...

So it was that I use energy I and my family didn't have to waste on somebody that KNOWS how little we have because they are in the same boat, or look like awful shirkers who leave these poor people stranded alone to pack up all by themselves.

It is worse because my husband has now joined the ranks of the uncontrolled diabetics again (no insurance), with other problems that go with it like high cholesterol and high blood pressure and his sleep apnea. He's losing weight. But somewhere recently he lost his backpack that had his diabetic blood sugar monitor in it, and half of his medicines and of course we can't afford to replace it without insurance. A doctor visit alone to our doctor is well over $200, but it's getting critical.

So I've been rationing his energy, like I ration mine, like I ration that of the rest of my family...others think of it as how many spoons they have to get through a day. It's a good analogy to get the point across. Your energy is finite and people who have an energy reserve don't get that...but people who are disabled themselves SHOULD!


I've had to tailor my family's life to our reality. It used to be what do you want mommy to do, this school thing with you, or a movie with the family over the weekend? A family night? or some one on one time? It was always mommy and always an either/or. Now it's daddy as well, or both.


I ration my energy day to day. I ration my husband's energy. I ration my family's energy.


I even explain to people that we make choices between what we can do and what we can't based on the disabilities and amount of energy it takes to deal with it.


With small children and disabilities we found we couldn't event. We especially couldn't autocrat as we loved to do. I stopped going to most events and my husband went alone to some of them. I stopped cooking at events. We stopped putting up an elaborate period camp. All of our activities got rationed. Saying "no" became a hated skill I had to learn for my sanity and my family's ultimate survival.

We went to few events, even fewer activities because my disabilities made daily life a chore and just living it to raise children took all my energy.

Now my children are old enough to be a help. We are learning how to streamline our SCA lives to sometimes be able to still be able to afford the energy it takes to go to and sometimes even to run events, but I need my entire family's energy to do it for us all to get there and we plan our vacations from the everyday grind of pain and "can't do thats" accordingly. We all pitch in to make it work for our family.


Now, there is a down side that I have found with our love of our new group. My husband hasn't learned the ability to say no, and I find myself feeling responsible for people who are availing themselves of our too finite family energy reserves so that we are left with less than nothing when we return home. It will really mean fewer events for us, that's the bottom line.

I can't allow my husband, who is our only almost able-bodied bread winner at this point, to cripple himself like this for multiple days on our return from what is supposed to be a "fun" event. As a family, we can't afford it. Individually, he can't afford it, health-wise.


I can't afford it, selfishly, when he is my only support for transport, and the only support for transport for his disabled mother as well.

Don't get me wrong. We had so much fun with our friends at this last event, but we knew our limitations, and the limitations of our conditions and didn't even do our normal volunteering. My husband didn't fight; crap, he didn't even marshal. That should have clued people in to just how messed up he was. He went to bed just after dark on Sunday. This, from the man who like the night owl he is, normally helps me greet my pain filled dawn.

He's only like this when his diabetes is messed up like it was this last weekend and the injuries are stacking up from the weather and the packing. I doubled my meds. I'm not supposed to, but I can't pack otherwise, and I was relieved it only took us about 4 hours to pack our own stuff up. We woke up and immediately got to it like we normally do, all of our family pitching in and doing what we can. We even ate as we packed and just got it done. I was thankful to the bit of help we got to fold up the one tent and tote the couple of heavy things I can't lift. It was all of about 10 minutes to help us finish up or so I would guess. I probably made it longer trying to get in the way and bend over myself, but for some reason people kept being concerned I'd faint on them or some stupid sh*t like that. ;D (Thanks Aislin for the assist folding the tent!)

I had to think long and hard why I've been so upset the last few days while we've been recovering and pretty much bed bound. And I think it was so hard because the next 2 hours was spent packing up a camp with only half the people who had shared it helping after they had made an INCREDIBLY slow start to their day and it had put them way behind everybody else. I found it hard to not feel resentment as the kids all sat in the car and Mom in that camp did most of the work, disabled as she is.

It bothered me most because, while I don't mind helping, I expect EVERYONE to do what little bit they can if I am going to be using up energy my family doesn't have to spare, and I felt like my husband and I and a few others were paying the toll so that the disabled gentleman in that camp could overuse his own energy and enjoy himself that weekend. We paid HIS price. My husband even warned him not to pack so much and was ignored and we still paid his price. As well as the price for the non-disabled people riding with him who could have been helping but sat in the car instead for various reasons. They may have been valid reasons beyond getting food; I don't know. I just know that energy was fading fast that would have been conserved if there had been more help and more fellow feeling.

Courtesy requires that people not be able to say things when they are so angry they are being abused and they feel they are being taken advantage of. That is wrong. It is discourteous to us all to take advantage of us by relying on our courtesy and goodwill to do your work.

A two hour drive home took 5 hours because of the stops we had to make to calm the spasms of pain my husband was having ,and I was in no shape to drive because I'd had to double my meds to "help" pack up when I went beyond my limits. I felt absolutely helpless. I didn't have anything I could medicate him with and I was too medicated to drive. All we could do was wait for the muscle spasms in the back and shoulder to lessen enough for him to drive again.

Then he had to race the clock to get home to help a disabled mother try to get a battery for her car working so she could see a doctor. He ended up back out on the road, muscle spasms and all.

So...I need to get this said. I may be seen as the wicked witch of the west or of the local area. But, I did my volunteering in the background and what was within my energy to do at the event, or would have been, based on what my family packed and what we knew we had to do.

I've had 2 eye surgeries in the last 4 months and have been fighting medication changes that are swinging my blood pressure and blood sugar up and down, and I'm lucky if I can bend over without fainting. I make us pack only what we need. My husband didn't volunteer to do the things he loved because he hurt himself helping people a few days before the event and knew that packing up and slogging in the mud would be too much for our family energy to absorb.

As adults we make those decisions daily, and yes, we made the decision to help the pople we did, because their being left behind to do it on their own would have reflected badly on our own group and ultimately, on us. So we made the choice not to look like slackers who had no conscience.

But they, as well, are adults, who have been disabled a long time. Long enough that they should know their energy limits and not ask others to give them spoons. Aislin doesn't have many spoons to spare. I don't have them and my husband doesn't have them to give. We were put in a position to be made to look bad if we didn't and that's what made me upset.


Many people in our group are disabled. We seem to have an overabundance of "differently-abled" who need to steward their energy wisely and, as such, we need to help each other as a community, but we need to NOT count on abusing that help. Because those of us that help are giving up our energy and spoons and future days of being able to take moms to hospitals and go with kids to events at their schools to you too! These are things that have been missed...


I recognize it when I have to ask for help, and I sure don't expect to receive it. I am amazed and humbled by the willingness of our members who can give of their help and do, but expecting the help is an abuse that will see the help drying up and blowing away for everyone.

Why am I cowardly bitching here instead of in an open forum where I can be answered face-to-face, or in a one-on-one meeting where I can address the problem diplomatically with the major individuals involved?

Mainly because of my old nemesis, disability. I can't string sentences together and when I have an issue to address when I am upset the ability regresses even further. My IQ drops by 20 to 50 points and I spend many minutes fighting the fog and being frustrated and losing the point of the whole exercise, and by then, so has the person I'm trying to confront. So I have found that writing, with the ability to stretch it out, find the right word, and ask for the person's feedback, can actually facilitate one-on-one communication for me. It is still just as hard for me to confront someone as it ever has been. I still need to get my courage up so I'm not walked over and then I need to find the words so that I can hope they'll understand my feelings, and not just blow it off as unimportant. Because if I sat down and took the time to draft it out and write, it was majorly important to the future of that relationship.

from the goddess who has been hibernating with her god for 2 days recovering...

Of favors and Being the inspiration...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I have been my fighter's inspiration before. I've made a favor before, and had it hang on his belt. He fought for me in a Crown. I watched him lose in two rounds, and then I commiserated with him over his loss. I knew much less of fighting then, having never marshalled or gotten into armor myself.

We went through a breakup as lovers do... I then had it given back to me and told that maybe I should give it to my new guy.... ? That was such a classless comment that I wondered why I had ever given out a favor in the first place.

It's also probably the reason that I've resisted making favors for any of the people that I truly love that I play with in the SCA that I should proudly ask to display my favor on their belt, arm, around their head, or neck....or anywhere else we deem appropriate. ;D

That new guy, became my husband of the last 17 years and my lord and the general guy that I consider an inspiration to live with. I took a favor and tokens class at Sport of Kings this last year given by Mistress Cymbric of the Isles, OL that totally rejuvenated my interest and love for the thought of being an inspiration and giving a symbol of that. But, since I absolutely suck at hand work, and it takes me forever, the real favor, a torse for my lord's helm is taking longer and longer it seems, but since his new helm THAT I BOUGHT HIM LAST YEAR is STILL not riveted so that he can wear it! I'm probably right up with his schedule. ;D

But my sweet daughter did her father proud and gave him a very meaningful favor full of symbolism to wear on his arm while he is fighting, it includes one of the first beads that she has made as a lampworker that was in his colors. It also includes two coin blanks for him to be placed on his eyes at "death" to pay the ferryman to cross the river. Such a creative addition to a favor! And each element has a symbolism to it that she explained at the firelit ceremony where she presented it to him.

I had to make do with a temporary favor to let him know how close he held my heart as he fought in Crown lists that day and how close he holds it every day. The picture at the beginning of this post was taken by Talon in the SCA who caught us as King Cedric was giving his invocation, and we were seriously considering the duties and responsibilities that go along with the wearing of the crowns of AnTir.

I'm still working on that favor. I'm still proud of my lord and the chivalry he shows and the love he shows for me daily, let alone the love and enthusiasm he has for this organization and it's ideals and fun. The group that is forming, it's people and our emerging traditions are just as inspiring to me as my husband is in everyday life. ;D

from a goddess who is inspired

Obi wan and these are not the droids....eh hem...dinosaurs...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Truly, I would only use this power for good. I could see being an @ss kicken Jedi Master who'd screwed up and trained one of the biggest baddies in the universe...yeah that sounds like my Karma...everything's better once you're dead!

One more of those silly quizes I get sucked into because they make me think about aspects of my life I probably don't want to consider. This was my result, (I left their advertising bar on the bottom in case you want to try it yourself.)

Obi-Wan Kenobi (Star Wars)

You are smart and kind. You aren't mean to anyone and always think ahead. You don't like war but you aren't a hippie. You only use violence in defence and only rarely hurt people. You are worried about your friends and you are very honerable and obey your master.

And now make your own Gift App!
Millions of people will use it - its really easy and fun!

Strangely enough, this evaluation isn't that far off. Oh what I wouldn't give for the kick butt abilities of a Xena or Wonderwoman. But since I wasn't raised in Ancient times or with the
Amazons, I guess I'll stick to trying to be honorable. It's not a bad place to be in life. My kids, my husband, my family, our life, what else is there to hold on to and fight for?

Through all the hype and crap and second guessing about the past and the future, that's what it boils down to. So Obi Wan has a geas I can relate to.

I really would enjoy using the, "not the droids you are looking for," power when I'm trying to keep the family out of trouble :) And yes, the big kid gets in almost as much trouble as the children! But that's what I love about him....and I don't even have to be the grownup all the time anymore, to the mortification of my children.

from a superpowered puzzled goddess who wants to ROCK!

Hey, if you ever want to find out what kind of Dinosaur you are, I'm a diplodicus!

Diplodocus

A long neck and a long tail means a long life for you. Your footsteps echoe like thunder and your enormous size and company reduces your risk of danger.

And now make your own Gift App!

from the roaring kickin' @ss dinosaur wielding a light saber goddess who is puzzled.

Punch drunk in the past...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Feelin' a bit whoosy tonight, probably left over meds and fatigue. But got some good bonding time with the family tonight. The kids went to practice and brought home another freshman from their class who needed some homework help.

He's a good kid. He's made some wrong choices in the last few years...like getting to 17 with 2.5 credits toward high school graduation. [It wasn't important, Obviously no one had ever explained how much it was, and gotten it through to him!] He is in most of the kids classes and seems to pick it up well. He's not stellar, but I've seen MUCH worse. And he hates feeling stupid so he's gone back to school so he doesn't have to feel that way. Probably smartest decision the kid ever made.

If he keeps up with it, the whole family has told him he's more than welcome to come over and study with the kids. We sometimes still talk about assignments and I learn stuff. :) Did you know how much science has changed in 25 years? I'm finding out!

The boy's got some of the concerns with having groupies/followers/stalkers/puppydogs whatever you want to call them, that the girl has been dealing with for quite a few years in various degrees. She's gotten much more compassionate to people who are outsiders though, she's had to deal with being a bullied outsider since we moved to this little school with many strangely raised children. She's a freak, but a freak with followers now and so finds some acceptance. Plus, she's discovered the wonderful feeling of being the BEST at something. SHE is the BEST in her school at scholastics. Not the quickest learner, but the one who listens and follows through and is responsible and thinking.

The boy isn't that geared to wanting to put a label on himself. He's a natural student (unfortunately it comes too easy to him), a natural athlete (though he does have to work to be a starter at his age) and he's a natural leader, being a boy with a strong sense of right and wrong and a genuine hero complex. He's been having to deal with 'followers' for years, and while it drives him nuts, he's been as pleasant as he could. And in some cases, he's even been the one following.

He's got a friend currently who is far from social adept (I'd have to say total social gamer geek.) This guy wants to be joined at the hip from the time they get to school until the boy goes to football practice. The kid isn't sports oriented, it's all video games...which is the trap we are working to get our son out of. We want him playing and moving in the real world.

It's taken this kid 2 years, but he's almost totally run my son's patience away. We keep counselling to redirect the conversations you don't want to participate in toward another subject. Be polite and don't cut him down, and may like hey, c-o-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-e and tell him that he's increasing your stress by constantly bringing gamer talk to school when you want to socialize with other people and learn different things about the world.

For instance, he's LOVING football. A sport he's never been exposed to and is barely on for 5 seconds as we flip through channels at our house! But he's loving it and wants to spend some time getting immersed in it with his teammates.

It's a really grown up, and could be an emotionally hurtful situation to have to deal with to get him the reduction in anxiety and space the boy feels he desparately needs right now.

Their reactions as children of this modern age are so much better and kinder than mine were at the same age. I would have wanted to be kind, but I'm not sure I could have looked far enough beyond myself to do so. I wasn't nearly as responsible as the ones we've raised. [Hmmm. guess video games and TV might be good for something after all, and discussion of honor, chivalry and reading to them all about the Lord of the Rings and the Knights of the Round table....who'd a thunk it? *grin*]

from a puzzled goddess who can't do much more than advise.

Better moms need tranquilizers...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I think I'd be a better mom if they put me back on tranquilizers. I'm sure the kids would like me better, and that glowing fog sure would mute these depressive spirals.

I wasn't going to post because I'm so exhausted, but the kids have managed to start their first day of high school without any major problem. One more milestone passed.

Pain visited again on Monday and wasn't a polite guest, so I didn't sleep that night but stayed up to wake the kids and see them to their first day. Sometimes I don't know why I bother to push. I pushed on through the day and into the afternoon, just thinking I'd stay up long enough to find out about the first day of school and then collapse. I'd had Rick stay home to help me because I felt so awful.

I should have known better than to push that hard, but I so wanted to be there for the kids. I was in bad enough shape that the boy and I ended up having words because of the way he treats his sister and the way he was treating me when I was trying to find out what kind of haircut he wanted. [Note to self, let dad deal with teenagers when I'm in this much pain.]

I always bring on pissy attitudes and the sulks. I probably was impatient and snapped at him about the short timing and the effort it takes to drive 20 miles to get anything done. This haircut came out of the blue because his adductor muscle is still strained and he was going to have to sit out of practice. So, for him, it was a logical jump to have mom drive him into Hood River for a haircut when he wouldn't miss practice and would be ready, and able to see, by the game on Friday.

For me, it was an impossibility that made me depressed because I couldn't do it and was disappointed in myself, as I didn't have half my vision field clear...it was throwing spots like a psychedelic movie and it was becoming increasingly difficult to think through the pain. I was glad that Rick was there, and I could ask him to cover it.

But I was hurt that there was no concept that dad had stayed home because MOM was sick and MOM was too sick to drive him anywhere so he was being a demanding, self-involved teenage boy. (Do they ever get better? They must, his father is one of the most loving and patient men I know. There's more than one reason I married him. Though he'd tell you it was just the great sex. *grin*)

I know I jumped him about his chores and his laundry that has somehow piled up on his floor again in less than 24 hours. :| I got impatient when he couldn't pick out a hairstyle on line that would actually cut off enough of the extra growth to clear his vision, and I made the mistake of smacking his arm when he rudely popped off to his sister to shut up.

I hate that tone of voice, and I hate the way it makes his sister shrink inside; hel, I shrink inside when he uses it on me. I shouldn't have smacked the arm, that just escalated his behavior, but it was such a reflex when he used that nasty tone that I've been on him about for weeks.

We've ALL been trying to be better and more loving to each other. It's hard when you all have stresses and physical demands that seem to grow by the minute and are all intelligent enough to want to be treated like rational PEOPLE, whether you are acting like one at the current moment or not. :?

As a goddess of pain, I suck as a mom. I know that I finally retired from the field and left it all to dad because I was crying and depressed and at the point of wondering why I even put out the effort to exhaust myself when it's just taken for granted that I can do more when I'm already so overloaded I O.D'd on the pain meds just to get through their first day.

I'm wishing I felt more of the triumph and accomplishment I was feeling as I watched them walk into the school this morning, but the depression is bad enough that it's hard to see beyond it. I know that the girl tried to cuddle up next to me last night and help me to feel better, but when you feel like a failure it's hard to see accomplishment in being comforted by a 13 year old.

I should though. We're obviously doing something right, the compassion and caring were being expressed, and her very loving presence helps me to feel a bit better thinking about it now. And I know her brother feels them too; even if he demonstrates it at the weirdest moments. :)

It's hard to deal with a mom who's chronically depressed and in pain most of the time. I think they do better than I have any right to expect.

Enough of my five minutes of whining. I'm sure the kids will do something sterling today that will inevitably make this mom's new day SHINY.

I just have to look at the sky and try to remember optimism and the power of positive thinking, right? [Did whoever said that have teenagers?]

from a whiny puzzled goddess trying to make herself a better mom

Canine interruptus and kitty time bombs...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Okay, we all love our pets and the give us such WONDERFUL attention; it's not that I'm trying to bang on them or anything (hmmm, I take that back. I bang on my family, why not my pets?)

Anyway, we managed to get the kids gone for a few days last week and dh and I were getting... very... friendly... when the dog, Shadow, decided to peek his head over the edge of the bed and find out what was going on. That whole wet beard and whiskers on the arm thing and little eyes staring at you with the, "hey, mom, can I play too? " look was just a mood killer. R got to put him out of the room. Then we listened to him whimper and scratch on the door for the next hour. (Now I know why my sleep doctor suggests all animals stay OFF the bed *grin*)

But of course, this is the same dog who will leave you a present pile in the living room, right in front of the TV, if you are gone more than 5 minutes and he doesn't think you should have been. And his most endearing habit is the way he greets strangers with licks and a leg hump.

"My, what a CUTE dog." I've heard more than once as they try and disconnect him from their leg. :)

The kitten, Mystique, or as my DH says, Ms Sneakiness or affectionately 'Tique is just too busy investigatin' all this and that to be too much of a pain in the posterior. When she's not leaving Tique bombs in the corner of my closet or tipping over the family pictures on her way to the window. She's just trying to convince us of what a goddess she is and have us bow down and worship. Which of course, we gladly do. You can't see her byootiful blue eyes here, but they are incredible....and her little white feet that just make you convinced that if somebody got into sumthin' it COULDN'T be her! She's the one that some neighbors found in their woodpile in December of last year, just a few days old. We think she was probably the runt and it was touch and go when my mom-in-law nursed her back to health. She was a raggedy kitty for awhile too!


But the Leon kitty is our best mouser. The only one better in the family at catching mice is my son! LOL (no joke!) But Leelee, as we like to call him, can stalk with the best of them. When he isn't sucking up the attention from my daughter or begging me in that demanding cater-wall of his to play laser mouse with him. Hmmpt!

He was also a feral cat who was rescued by some friends...his EXTREME friendliness bears this out! LOL Not!

With his trips to the litter box he's been known to clear a room in less than 20 seconds...(he and my dh are competing for the fastest time, I swear!)

And the last edition to our current managerie is the queen b*tch of them all. And she has earned that title in the 13 years she has graced us with her presence. Those gray whiskers she earned!

You'd never know she started life as a barn cat with the airs she puts on! She has definitely come up in station since her kitten hood. Starting out by teething on the fingers of my custom grey leather gauntlets and helping the puppy maneuver the 18 count box of CHOCOLATE Dunkin' Donuts off the table, she's just gone on to bigger and better since then. Dh has MANY nicknames for this one! Shallow kitty, Shadow brat, black b*tch, kitty rat...you name it and she's probably earned it!

She REALLY is hatin' all the additions to the family and is letting us know. The hissing and spitting would be a clue even if she wasn't hiding in our bedroom and leaving us presents in odd places. (no, that ISN'T stuffing coming out of the bottom of my shoe! Luckily, I looked down BEFORE I put my foot in it! or we would have had 'flying kitty'!) At least she could have said, "sorry."

blessings from a puzzled goddess enjoying her managerie

No time and party lines...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Not much time to write the last day or so. It seems like I've been running since the kids went to visit friends on Tuesday. This last Saturday afternoon my dh and I got to spend the day with good friends sharing stories, laughing and catching up. We had a phone call from our missing friend overseas and actually gave him much hilarity amid some serious moments of conversation. It was nice to hear his voice and know he was okay.

This group gets together every August and celebrates all the birthdays in that month. Normally with gag gifts, but sometimes fairly cool ones. It's a way to catch up once a year and find out how everyone's doing. The egg sushi won the race and we have much video evidence of the fun. For those who have never raced wind-up sushi....you're not missing much :)

The moon maiden did tell me that she found a cool new pagan alphabet book for her young son. (I'm going to have to get the name. But this might be it.) Here is a website though with one that's a bit different. I think this is such a clever idea, and I wish that I had thought to get something similar for my kids when they were that age! Here is a list of books for pagan kids from the Erudite Pagan. It makes me thankful to live in the age of the Internet where resources like this are becoming available to help us educate ourselves and our children.

Most of the books we tried to share with our children had the same kinds of themes though: respecting themselves, respecting others, respecting the earth, and the big one that we emphasize over and over, taking responsibility for your own actions.

May you all have strength and whatever guidance you require to follow the path of your spirit.

Blessings to you all from a puzzled goddess

Social grease, the falls on a faucet, and cooking fires...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

My daughter hates cooking. How can one of my descendants HATE cooking? Cooking is good for the soul. It allows you to express your love and caring to others in a tangible way through your efforts.

Of course, if the last 3 or 4 times I'd cooked for my loving friends they had told me that I really shouldn't try to cook, I'd probably hate cooking too (or maybe turn the hate-on to my 'loving' friends!...hmph! that's the bitch goddess in me I suppose!)

This was supposed to be a post about cooking, but I'm wandering off the subject, as usual, I think what I really want to puzzle about is politenes, gratitude, and all that other social grease that so many people think is unnecessary. As a goddess, I find it very necessary. People in this world are hateful enough without adding to those feelings out of ignorance or sheer thoughtlessness.

A magic 'please' or 'thank you' and a smile can go a long way toward people feeling less nasty during their day.

When we moved to our current town a few years ago, I really thought the people here were some of the rudest I had ever met, no smiles, no helpful attitude, no refills, all gruff and 'here's your change' as they dump it in your hand when you buy something. I really couldn't understand it in a tourist town.

Then, the goddess was enlightened. My nephew, poor boy, has lived in this town his entire life. He has held jobs here. We were having dinner with him (at a really cool Chinese Buffet we found that has NO MSG! WOot! It hasn't got that great of reviews, but there is always something new there for me to try...peppered squid, sushi, octopus, dim sum) and I expressed how hard I found the rudeness of the clerks, etc in town to deal with and how it surprised me in a tourist town. His answer was that it was BECAUSE it was a tourist town and according to his experience...some tourists are really stupid...

Okay....? Had I heard the one about the tourist from back East who asked him when did they turn the Falls off for the night? (Multnomah Falls) ??? huh

Or then there was the one (sitting in a dining room almost under the bridge) who asked if the Bridge of the Gods went all the way across the river? (my dh told my nephew he should have said ....welll....only if you get a run at it.)

Then there was the tourist who asked what that island was over there across the lake (the 'island' being Washington State and the 'lake' being the Columbia River.)

So I guess maybe this goddess has to b*tch less about rude people and wonder why people who have seen me at least once a week for the past 3 years in a town of less than 2,000 might think I'm a tourist. :) huh... it's been a long time since I've been mistaken as dumb...maybe it's the grey in the hair and the missing teeth (until recently)....nah, nobody would think you were dumb just because you were old, right?

Hmmm....maybe this is teaching the goddess another lesson. "judge not..." or maybe just to, "consider the source..." or maybe just to not let them take your day. The day is yours to do with as you wish. Their rudeness or judgements should not allow it to be ruined because it is time you won't get back. I like that better.

Blessings from a Puzzled Goddess