|Wikimedia CSD 2|
But reading about stuff? I generally have pretty strong stomach.
which is why I couldn't understand my reaction to reading about a Master/slave commitment ceremony in the BDSM world. But I'm figuring based on some other work I'm trying to do lately with facing my fears that the gut clenching knots of terror are directly tied to my childhood trauma of being abused and the PTSD I've had since. I found it strange that I wouldn't even have noticed the fear response if I hadn't been reading, a book by Ana T. Forrest called, "Fierce Medicine." Forrest was the originator of Forrest yoga and strongly believes in facing fears and confronting them in order to control our reactions to them and tome down the stress they leave our bodies under.
I can totally understand the value in this. She suggests keeping a few journal with steps you've taken to combat the few and to isolate the causes. Since this is a first realization for me. I've got to figure out if the root of my terror is really what I suspect and how I'll go about desensitizing myself to it. Maybe I'll read the book instead of throwing the thing and my phone into wall at least.
from a puzzled goddess...terrified of nothing but words on a page...