29 August, 2016

Tie me Up, Tie me Down, Tie me all Around...

Wikimedia CSD 2
Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...I was starting to read an erotica novel last night, or was it the night before? Anyway...(Oh come on you didn't think the interwebs invented porn do you? Libraries were there long before that! And still have great collections! And streaming that shit is SO much easier now. LOL) So anyway, to explain, erotica is kinda like romance novels but kinkier. In a romance, two people get together and work out the kinks in their relationship and deal with some of their baggage. In romantica, two, but maybe more or less or other deal with the kinkier in their relationship(s) and create baggage for unsuspecting readers who may need mind bleach before finishing a paragraph or two. All kidding aside there are as many types of sex and gratification as there are people. Most of the time I can flip merrily on my way and not really be bothered too much by stuff that just doesn't particularly play for me. I'm old enough that I figure what consenting adults agree to consent to do is their own business. I don't like abuse, bullies, or hypocrites and that's where quite a few of my objections come into play in the real world.

But reading about stuff? I generally have pretty strong stomach.

which is why I couldn't understand my reaction to reading about a Master/slave commitment ceremony in the BDSM world. But I'm figuring based on some other work I'm trying to do lately with facing my fears that the gut clenching knots of terror are directly tied to my childhood trauma of being abused and the PTSD I've had since. I found it strange that I wouldn't even have noticed the fear response if I hadn't been reading, a book by Ana T. Forrest called, "Fierce Medicine." Forrest was the originator of Forrest yoga and strongly believes in facing fears and confronting them in order to control our reactions to them and tome down the stress they leave our bodies under.
I can totally understand the value in this. She suggests keeping a few journal with steps you've taken to combat the few and to isolate the causes. Since this is a first realization for me. I've got to figure out if the root of my terror is really what I suspect and how I'll go about desensitizing myself to it. Maybe I'll read the book instead of throwing the thing and my phone into wall at least.
from a puzzled goddess...terrified of nothing but words on a page...