23 April, 2017

Tripping, Tipping on Tips...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...Too many places online tell you that no matter how shitty the service is that you MUST tip! I don't agree!

If a waiter or waitress wants to keep their customers, keep their job and keep their employer in business they need to do their damn job!

I've gotten really tired of the, "but I'm OWED a Jooooob!" whine by whoever is making the current whine. I've served at counters. I've done my time at fast food. And garnered tips! which is harder than hell! I've served bar at pizza places! I've sold jewelry on commission. I've had some pretty crummy jobs to make ends meet and to help pay my way through college and I get that waiters and waitresses don't get minimum wage. Thus it behooves them to serve their customers.

Because you want to know a secret? Lean closer....MOST CUSTOMERS FEEL DAMN GUILTY IF THEY DON'T TIP! So if we aren't tipping, there is a good reason! And it's not that our panties are in a twist, or that we're in a bad mood! Normally it's that we've gotten such crappy service that we just can't justify laying down any more money we really can't afford to reward such crappy behavior. I don't reward toddlers' crappy behavior; why would I do it with adults? They don't learn from it either.

So here are the rules I learned from my Dad about tipping (this was a while ago, but my income hasn't gone up since 1996, so my tips probably won't either. Your income probably does, so you can adjust for income!)

Excellent service:
Fair service
Maitre de: (bribe for seating)$50+ depending on snoot factor of place and maitre de
Note: doesn't normally work for females, females either have to dress the part, or end up by the kitchen door, or equivalent. just sayin'
Chefs or Bus boys 5%
Bellhops $1-$10
Maids $5-$20 depending on length of stay
Bar waitresses the change from next closest denomination or 10-20% of round
Hairdressers, box people, door men, valets $1-$10 depending on location

VERY BAD SERVICE, so bad you want to tell them you would have tipped, but their service sucked!!  $0.01

But nowadays I always feel like everyone has their hand out for a handout. I'm on a fixed income and I compute a tip into the cost of my meal when I go out. But it also means I go out much less frequently. Those dollars are hard to come by in my life.

So when that time is ruined by shitty service. I don't take it quietly, or lying down. I only have about 4 or 5 restaurants I can even still eat at with my medical conditions anymore since most of them use food with additives or preservatives I can't physically eat. So the few I CAN eat at, I work into my schedule selectively.

I know I'm probably a dinosaur. But this dinosaur has a very limited food supply and a limited budget like the rest of the world is coming to, and gee, maybe if more people valued their pennies and realised that the single penny they saw on the table was actually the message of one MIGHTILY PISSED OFF customer, they might mend their service and keep their restaurant, their job, and the economy going.

I've been told by friends of mine that women are the WORST tippers so they get the worst service. Especially women in SUITS. It always makes me giggle. Because I would probably be one of the better tippers, if I'm treated decently. But when I'm ignored or treated rudely, watch the f* out! I will be in your face. I will take my cane and my drink up to the drink station and fill it. I will tell your manager I had a crappy meal AND I will report it on the website. Because I am just THAT fed UP with SHITTY service. So the next time you think you have this little old lady with the cane in the corner with her book pegged. Think twice! of course, they might be spitting in my food? who knows?

just my 1 or 2 cents of a tip...ped off goddess....

02 January, 2017

Pieces of my past...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...for some reason this last year and the deaths have been especially hard on me. When Michael Jackson died in 2009 it was sad, but it wasn't as emotionally wrenching for me as this past year has been.

It started a year ago with the death of a legend. When David Bowie died 2 days after his 69th birthday of liver cancer. It hit me really hard for some reason? Maybe because I'd always considered him to be one of the most innovative artists of my generation and he was just...gone.

I'd loved watching him in "Labyrinth," hated the ending. I'd so wanted to change the ending and wanted her to fall asleep and have Jarrod show up the next day at her school as the "new kid." LOL Too bad we can't change endings the way we want. He was the best part of the movie. Him and Udo.

With each new name listed and passed around Facebook I felt another piece of my childhood or youth slipping away and gone...Alan Rickman, Dan Haggerty, Glenn Frey, Paul Kantner from Jefferson Airplane, Joe Alaskey who was Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, Maurice White from Earth, Wind and Fire, Edgar Mitchell the Apollo 14 Astronaut, George Kennedy, Nancy Reagan, Keith Emerson from Emerson, Lake and Palmer, Patty Duke, Merle Haggard, Chyna, Prince, Morley Shafer from 60 Minutes, Muhammad Ali, Gene Wilder, Arnold Palmer,  Debbie Reynolds, Carrie Fisher, William Christopher, George Michael, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Alan Thicke, John Glenn, Greg Lake from Emerson, Lake and Palmer, Janet Reno, Fidel Castro, Leonard Cohen, Leon Russel, Robert Vaughn, Florence Henderson, Ron Glass.  Good, bad, noble, evil all had felt like portions of my life's journey to get here and pieces of my past, now gone. They are connected now only in my memories with how they impacted my life and the lives of so many, many others of these times.

Glenn Frey was the All Nighter...LOL Miami will never seem the same, Alan Rickman made sexy villain in Harry Potter. Dan Haggerty almost made Grizzlies look cuddly. Patty Duke made me believe in Helen Keller. Chyna had attitude to spare and so did Muhammad Ali. John Glenn was a man I could respect and admire and helped build my love of the space program. Fidel Castro made me hate politicians. Leonard Cohen taught me to love composers. Leon Russel to love Southern Fried Rock. We all thought that Florence Henderson would be a great mom. Robert Vaughn almost convinced me the CIA would be a good career path if I could get a partner like Ilia.

Ron Glass as Shepherd in Serenity was played with grace and conviction. Thanks to Carrie Fisher Princesses do their own butt kicking and rescue the rogues, in harem girl outfits with blasters no less! And they can even have dorky donut bun hairdos doing it! LOL Debbie Reynolds is a final memory with my parents at a casino show when she was singing one of her numbers from the "Unsinkable Molly Brown."

There are so many memories of my life wrapped up in these people. So many lives they touched. I'm sure they touched just as many others. This was a tough year for us all. Just remembering the good times they brought...