The wind up mommy is winding down...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

As this summer is coming to a close and I look outside my air conditioned comfort at the sweltering big blue room, I can't help but think of all the other things in my life that are coming to a close, or closed.

I miss my parents. Having them gone feels like navigating through life without a net and no sense of balance. But did I ever appreciate them when they were around? Not really. And that makes me sad.

It has the benefit of making me want to stay in contact with the rest of my family; no matter how far away. But it's hard most times to know what to say. How do you get beyond the, "How you doin', " when every day is unrelenting pain. I don't have anything to say. I wanted YOU to distract me.

That's probably what I'm missing. My major distractions. They're visiting friends for 4 or 5 days and I've kept myself busy the entire time they've been gone. Until today. I don't know why I miss their little presences so much. Crap, half the time I can't pull them off their computers to join in a real world conversation. But it's probably that other half I miss. When they're giving mom sh*t and won't take my grumpy attitude without trying to kid or tickle me out of it. Kinda remind me of their dad that way.


They'll be back at school in a few days and I'll have my days to myself again. Just me and the houseful of animals that want constant rotating attention....but they don't tickle me, or giggle in their sleep, or come cuddle with me and talk about all kinds of serious stuff...just because they can. :)

Some of this introspection probably comes from the activity of the last few days, which have been trips down memory lane to college. I saw joanalita and we reminisced and I've been thinking a lot about other college buds that I don't see too often.

One who's in that hot country over across the ocean sharing his expertise; his wife who I'll get to see tomorrow with all the attendant craziness of their annual August gathering (that's the month, not anything snooty).

I'll get to see M and her husband J and their little one who's growing up on my computer screen through pictures his mommy sends. My husband and Baldric will spend the evening one-upping each other and majorly enjoying it and my husband will probably protest and say that HE's Baldric now!

All this introspection I blame on R and K, cuz if I hadn't been going through old pictures for the last 3 days to make a slideshow I wouldn't feel so weepy. But the pictures were cool.

I got to remember the Moody Blues, and Alan Parsons and walking around a silent town in the middle of the night. Dancing and feeling like we owned the floor and a gun behind my husband's back as he married me.

Watching all the kids grow up and change from those cuddly babies to individuals with feelings and thoughts and opinions (definitely opinions, they're our kids!)

So in my missing people mood today I'm going to try and remember that my kids' babyhood, toddler, and pre-teen years are done and it's time to bring out some different parenting skills and ramp it all up since HIGH SCHOOL IS COMING!

(Their mascot is the pirate....obviously!)

Blessings and many happy hours winding down from a puzzled goddess.

Visitation by a goddess...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Is it just me, or does everyone else also wait until the DAY AFTER they have company to clean house? Thought not. Just me. Oh, well.

I received a visitation yesterday by a friendly goddess. Not THE goddess, just A goddess. The goddess of Everything! LOL It's unbelievable how long it's been. If it had been up to me, we would probably have lost touch long ago as I have with most of my high school/college friends. But joanalita stays in intermittent touch and always seemed to track me down. And she sent out the cutest emails about what was going on with her life and family! Made me start remembering to connect with mine now that I don't always see them 5 or 6 times a year!

But I was very thankful that she graciously ignored the effects of a teenaged male (who lives in front of the mirror) has on my bathroom and sailed right along! Tho' it's always fun explaining to people that I have one of those toilets that has a handle you pull UP on the top of a tank. LOL Takes everybody a minute the first time they use it...and that's not to include the backwardly plumbed water in the sink! It's all fun.

She was nice enough not to peek at the awful garage from some dark circle of DIS as I had to take the dog in and out multiple times. (He's not very smart about the puppy dog thing and I'm not into cleaning up messes on the floor.) I'm just glad he didn't mortify me by greating her by humping her leg, but he seems to reserve that for my baby brother-in-law and for one of the boys friends. :)

And we only reminisced for about 45 minutes total during the whole 5 hour visit. We had all those lo many 15 years to catch up on! We had so many kid stories to swap and all those little family things that we hadn't shared :)

But she did remind me that we'd actually been on a college bowl team our freshman year (we were the TWO lone girls! most of the contestants didn't even realize that you could HAVE girls on the team *grin*) I think the guys we played with were Mikey and Bruce, but I barely remember back to being on the team! (lost in that alcoholic and mononucleosis haze) She says we made it to the semi finals! Woot! I don't even remember. Except that we were on the team to answer all the literature, geography, history type questions. LOL If my kids knew that they'd get a definite hoot out of that! They've HAD my help with social studies!

I still don't remember the strip poker story and there's NO way I believe it!

And I also remember her ragging on me to quit smoking...then 10 days into it offering to go buy me a pack of smokes! LOL YES, I AM the bitch! ROFL This one's for you!

from a puzzled goddess

Some really good eats...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Nah, this one doesn't puzzle me at all. I LOVE french toast. Especially the way my family makes it...with a heavy breading and lots of flour. But I created a recipe that I like even better.

I've done the french toast thing with bagels before and it's actually really good. I had these megaberry Winco bagels in the freezer waiting for someone to eat them. And waiting, and waiting. So when I defrosted one and noticed that it was more chewy than it really is supposed to be on one side I decided to do the french toast thing....then I got to thinking....people put nutmeg and cinnamon in their french toast...what happens if I put vanilla in mine? GOOD EATS! Num, Num.

To do my family's french toast you use about 8 or 9 eggs, 1 cup of flour and about 1/8 cup of milk. Then I added 1/2 tsp of vanilla and battered the megaberry bagels after they had been sliced. Talk about decadent food! I went ahead and used butter and syrup on mine, but the kids will eat them plain.

from a cookin' puzzled goddess

[ps. you know those nasty bread ends that no one likes to eat on sandwiches? Freeze them, and when you have enough take them out and dunk them in this batter still frozen and they cook up just fine!]

[pps you can also freeze the french toast, once it's cooked. And then the kids can just pop it in the microwave for 60 seconds and have a warm breakfast.]

Reality, schmality and who took my religion...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I really couldn't believe anyone would be that tacky when I read it in a Pagan blog I follow. I mean, how can something so personal be spread out on reality tv...oh, right, I forgot Flavor Faves (or whatever) and the Bachelor...hmmm

This is just more out to lunch then I believed any show would get. Why do I even wonder? I never watch TV for a reason. Movies, Discovery and History channel with the occassional CSI. The way I'm feeling about this was expressed really well by one of the columnists, Charlie Brooker, at The Guardian in the UK. This is just insane.

But, for reality TV, the more insane the better, right? The guy heading this show up sounds like the most insane of all....anything for a headline.

I have no clue why the people that are on this would volunteer for this kind of insanity. I just don't get it. People fling religion in your face often enough whether you want it or not. Why go out looking for the hassle?

I had some hope for a balanced world someday....why do I keep reading or watching the Christian media and losing it?

from a head shaking puzzled goddess wishing I had the excuse of drugs making me see it ...

From one extreme to the other...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

The premise of this book sounds silly in the extreme: an 11,000 year old Atlantean god, born of mortals, and abused his entire mortal life, the lover of a virgin goddess, killed at the hands of her jealous brother on top of the body of his murdered sister and nephew. Who then goes on to save the world from a spoiled god's curse for the next 11,000 years and be abused by his goddess lover who he now hates, but is tied to. :) Seeing the point?

But nevertheless, I have been following Sherrilyn Kenyon's, "Dark Hunter," and her, "Dream Hunter," series since they've both come out. Some of what makes them special is that they are firmly in the world of what if. What if the gods are real? What if they really are the b*tches and d*cks that we read about in the mythologies? What if, even very damaged people can trust, just one more time and get a happy ending?

Maybe that's what I like so much about these books. Being a victim of abuse, like the author who warns us in her foreword to this book, this book had me on a roller coaster. What Acheron dealt with was an extreme, but the feelings were so valid to what an abuse victim feels. If the abuse goes on long enough your abuser does convince you that you're not worth more. And however long your life lasts, you're always looking over your shoulder or flinching inside waiting for it to happen again. Not that you don't come to trust and love people...it's just that IMHO, when you have had a childhood trust broken, you have a small part of your psych that isn't innocent anymore and is wincing away ready to be abused again.

Kenyon does a good job relating this, and far from being upset that Acheron, "didn't get over it," like other reviews I've read, I liked to see him work through a bit of it, after 11,000 years, he'd earned some time to heal.

I liked the heroine's spunk and compassion; her qualities were badly needed by the hero, who is so compassionate it is hardly believable himself. But again, I understand that quality, if enough pain is inflicted on you...you don't want to inflict it on others and will go to extremes to see that you don't.

So all in all, it was an enjoyable 13 hours spent lost in Sherrilyn Kenyon's world. I laughed, I cried and I felt at peace when he finally got a HEA. It was a long time coming.

Which was such a change from the techo-punk highschool computer savvy of the day before :)

but puzzled goddesses like to go from one extreme to another, it keeps them puzzled.

Little brother and scary thoughts...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

This Young adult novel is one of the best reads I have had in a long time. It is obviously titled to remind people of 1984. The premise of the book is about the abuse of american privacy in the name of national security and an idealistic young man's response to it.

After seeing that Will Wheaton highly recommended this book my dh searched all over for it. He tracked it down, read it and then passed it to me.

It is a rare book that can keep you emotionally invested from page one, this one did that for me. It was just too close to what could actually happen.

His website offers free downloads of many of his books. I'll be checking it out.

Blessings from a puzzled goddess

There be dragons in the teapot...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Thank you to the "goddess of everything" for the wonderful card! It made my day! It also made me remember that I hadn't updated people on my grand discovery about green tea!

I give up, the tea drinking mafia has come to call and let me know that tea is much better tasting when you actuall FOLLOW instructions and make it RIGHT!

Wow, who would have thought there would be so much taste change between dipping a bag and soaking a bag and having a little pot...even when you're using those nasty bags on strings.

Joany knew my pain and sent me this card to make the goddess feel better about her tea. Maybe dragons don't jump into your tea unless you have an open cup. Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong? Keeping the cup open so they have their place to bathe...that would explain the dirt and mould taste in the water....

Okay, I know that I've b*tched and moaned and k'vetched and just about everything else about my new habit of drinking green tea. I and "dragon water" just didn't seem to agree.

One more installment on this, at least for now. :)

I need to apologize to all those tea books I've read and all those tea websites who all said that you need to steep "in a teapot."

I really couldn't see that it would make a difference. I use filtered water, sometimes I poured the hot water over the bag of green tea, other times I dunked it, but it always tasted the same...gross.

And I remembered all the tea I drank at the Beanery and they always used a sieve that sat in the top of the cup...so a teapot shouldn't make a big difference, right? Especially if I don't care if the tea stays warm (lukewarm or cool spinach water tastes just as bad as hot...so does that moldy dragon water!)

BUT just to be on the safe side I picked up a second hand teapot. And surprise, surprise...it actually makes a difference. Now my favorite green tea is actually the Royal King that I hated when I steeped it by the cup. And my second favorite is the Stash premium green tea...the green teas they make that have other herbs in them now fall far down my list of which teas I want to drink. I still use the ginger peach green tea to help get me going and the wild rasberry green tea when I want to calm my stomach.

[just an aside, did you know that the straight wild rasberry herb tea tastes GREAT with Hershey bars...I just ah, happen to have found this out....]

So that's the update and I just had to share the roses my mom in law just sent over for me :)

blessings and good dragon water to you all from a puzzled goddess

Teenbooks, vampires and conversations you never want to have...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I made my kids a promise when they were about 3 & 4, that ANY question they had the guts to ask, I'd have the guts to answer (my dh chickened out and keeps telling them that MOM made the promise!) We've discussed where babies come from, what 'jerk offs' are (wasn't THAT fun!), what kinds of things will REALLY make you go blind, racism, elitism, words they want defined...if they asked it, I did my best to explain.

Lately I've had kind of a dilemma. There are some REALLY popular bestsellers that are young adult fiction that a friend of my daughter's loaned to her originally. She told me a bit about them when she was first reading them, and how the heroine got kind of depressing, whiny and teenaged angsty in the second book. I was glad that she noticed it and didn't think much more about it. Now I've read all the books because she insisted they were so good.

Now that I've read them I have MANY topics to discuss with my dd. My dilemma comes down to realizing that I, as an adult, read these books and noticed some weaknesses and the way some relationships were portrayed and I didn't care for it too well. But I enjoyed the books nonetheless. However, as a mommy goddess I had a difficult time with the way the relationships in these books are presented to a teenage girl. Yes, I know it's an alternative reality world, but it's based upon our real world.

With the first book I didn't much like that her parents were portrayed as immature and incompetent to look after themselves. The teen is portrayed as having an extremely low self image, thinks herself mature.

The books I'm talking about are the Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer.
Here is my librarything review of Twilight.

In the second book "New Moon." The heroine is on top of the world because this gorgeous god is now her boyfriend, not an unreasonable response for a girl of that age, but she sneaks around and lies to her parents and friends. And while it's all justified in the teen's mind (isn't it always?) I still found it a sad statement on loving and caring relationships. Then when her boyfriend disappears to protect her she spend the last 4/5 of the book depressed and on the edge of suicidal. The obsessive relationship with the hero was scary to me, as it seems like such an unhealthy blueprint for love.

Here's my librarything review of New Moon.

The third book, "Eclipse" was more of the same, low self esteem, obsessive love, vacillating between two relationships. The plot was tighter and the characters more three dimensional, but it was an average read.

Here's my librarything review of Eclipse.

The conclusion of the series, "Breaking Dawn," was satisfying as a reader, but gosh it left the mother with a great many concerns.

Here's my librarything review of Breaking Dawn.

There were aspects of the book that were done well. The final confrontation for one, the building and layering of the characters interactions.

But I had so many problems with this book that I don't know where to begin. It could have been 200 pages shorter and been a tighter, more closely plotted book with less wandering. The father's reactions were unbelievable. The portrayal of pregnancy was horrifying and scarifying (and if you expected anything even approaching that you wouldn't want to continue the next generation!)

Again, the love relationship seemed over the top, but the virginity until after marriage and the groom who must have been the oldest virgin in the Western World was kinda cute.

The "imprinting" relationships in the last books between almost adult males and girls who were toddlers just hit my 'ick' meter BIGTIME!

The author used the old standby of the men looking out for the girls and wanting what is best for them, etc. But by setting the story in the real world this just swung too close to the edge of pedophilia for me to want my daughter to think it might a good type of relationship. If the world was less real, I don't think it would have bothered me as much.

And maybe, in the back of my mind, I'm making the prejudiced connection between the scandals with young girls and the old men in the Mormon church; since it has been widely advertised that the author is Mormon, and this may be some of my creepy, ick feeling. I know that reading the articles about girls that ARE girls, forced to (or brainwashed into) marry men old enough to be their fathers just hits all my feminist hot buttons.

I hope it's not prejudice because I really respect a great deal of values the Mormon Church espouses; I just don't want my daughter raised with them. :)

And yet, I can't see banning books either...

I raised her to think for herself; now I guess I have to trust her to know how to do it. (Especially if I've read it and can talk to her about it as well *grin*)

From a puzzled goddess who really wanted to like the books more

More than I ever wanted to know about potties...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Okay, yesterday I said I needed to stop writing and making comments about movies because I had some reading to do and needed to come up with a class for our SCA [Society for Creative Anachronism] meeting. Well, in the course of doing my research I discovered more about Medieval potties and cleanliness than I ever really wanted to know.

These subjects (at least the cleanliness) are/is covered very thoroughly in The Compleat Anachronist #136: Hygiene of the Middle Ages and Renaissance, Volume One: Personal Grooming and The Compleat Anachronist #136: Hygiene of the Middle Ages and Renaissance, Volume Two: Domestic Arrangements by Jennifer Heise

The goddess was illuminated about gongs and jakes and gongfermors (the people who cleaned out cesspits), and I visited all kinds of websites that discussed the subject. One even showed off a padded seat! This cesspit was actually cleaned out by a tradesman known as "Monsieur Fifi. "

I read discussions about cities painting religious signs on buildings to keep urinators away and hiring people to clean out the "pissing corners." (and I thought I had a problem with people missing!) But I just hate to admit we can't eliminate in the medieval manner...there's no place on our property that would put us a "bow's shot away." And there's no handy Mullein bush for that wiping thing.

I've yet to see any lids on any of these seats though...

Till next time from a puzzled goddess who likes 20th century bathrooms

My Dear Husband has an agreement with the video stores....

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I swear. He knows when I'm at my weakest and will hit me with the idea of picking up a movie or two.

A movie or two? How about 6 or so? He knows the way my Scots soul works and the internal dialogue I go through....hmmm...it would cost us $40 if we were all to go to the movies and we'd see ONE movie. Maybe even one we wouldn't enjoy. It would be too loud and I'd have to wear my earplugs (so the noise didn't send my head soaring) someone in front of me would have been marinating in their aftershave or some woman would have bathed in her perfume...I don't do well with the fake butter smell on the popcorn and the cigarette smell...you get the idea. And of course there's the, it's only a few movies. We live way out in the stick (too far for them to be multiple sticks) and we'd save the gas and time if we didn't go to the theatre. Just to RENT it would cost more than it would to BUY it and use the gas to have it there and back on time.

My dh, a great tactician, lets this all play through my head for awhile during our time in town while we're running our various bi-weekly or monthly errands. He knows that I always feel the bite of the bugdet during these times, but I also feel guilty for how little enjoyment he and the kids get the rest of the time as they cater to what we can afford, or what I am in shape to do.

So, we normally stop by the movie store. Not for new movies mind you, that would be too expensive, but a few of those pre-watched ones.... (this from a woman who barely watches TV and at that only really the History Channel and Discovery Channel when someone else has them on!)

So our last trip, knowing we couldn't really afford any away trips to SCA events this summer, I gave in to a trip to Blockbuster...we normally go to Hollywood Video, it's closer to our shopping routes.

Here's what we picked up:
One that I really wanted to see, because Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson are such talented actors. And the 2nd National Treasure because the first was a fun action adventure that, while totally imaginary, brought points of our history into use in the script.


Then Jumper and In the Name of the King for my DH. Jumper, because the plot sounded intriguing. In the Name of the King, because we all have enjoyed playing Dungeon Siege together...but only when I can keep my ds and dh from powering through the game. I like time to explore!

My ds wanted Dragon Wars and my dd wanted The Golden Compass.

Out of the six that we bought last week, we've watched 3. Sitting cuddled up on my small queensized bed that barely holds the ancient cat, the doofus lapdog, my dh and I at the best of times. To this, in our infinite wisdom (yeah, that's sarcasm) we add two 'kids' that are both over 5'4" and look like real people. And their snacks! Gods we're dumb. [this is part of the reason my neck's been out for the last week...and getting worse, I just don't want to give up the family time!]

So, we have watched, "The Bucket List," "In the Name of the King," and "Jumper."
The Bucket List lived up to all expectations. We laughed, we cried, we talked about our personal 'bucket lists.' It let us draw closer as a family. Jack Nicholson's character disappointed me a bit, because I felt like it was a character he has played many, many times in movies, but the quirkiness and intelligence of Morgan Freeman's character made up for it. I'm not sure I'll watch it again, because I don't like crying, but it was definitely an 'A' flick.

"In the Name of the King," we watched the next night. And it was about exactly what we expected. The cheese factor was a bit high, the fantasy epic plot was so transparent, the fight scenes were kinda fun...his wife was dressed like a true fantasy heroine throughout the whole movie, but most surprising of all were the number of big names who signed on for bit parts in this. Ron Perlman, John Rhys-Davies, Burt Reynolds? While I'd only rate the film at an A- or B, we had a ball making smart @ssed jokes and allusions to other fantasy movies that I'm sure you all could name. We'll probably watch it again, just to see what new jokes it brings up!

The last of the three we have watched in the past week is, "Jumper." I am so disappointed that I can't get that hour and a half of my time back. They started with a really cool premise, and had some neat history that they barely touched on throughout the film. Add to that some major plot weaknesses, some weak characterization and a lame @ss ending and you have a film that I would have re-written before it EVER hit the shelves. I'll give it a C- (it only gets above an F because the premise was so good, and I could see potential in it that was never realized.) Maybe if it had been 30 minutes to 45 minutes longer they would have actually developed the plot.

That's it from me today...I got books to read and SCA classes to plan for our meeting tonight. And I'm behind because of all my dumb @ss indulging in more than 5 minutes of whining a day and too much sleep!

Blessing and many happy movie hours to you all from
a puzzled goddess

Pain, pain go away, come again some other day...but, send in the clowns

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Pain is not my friend. It may be YOUR friend, but it ain't mine! I was hoping against hope that clearing the aspartame toxins out of my body would mean more pain free or even pain tolerable days. This last week has definitely proved that hope to be in vain.

I've already cleaned out non-naturally occurring MSG. (with all it's attendant names they try to sneak through on the packaging...margarine, whipped MSG YUCK! Hydrolyzed Proteins and vegetable oils...yucky!)

I've dumped most, if not all, sources of nitrates, nitrites and sulfites and am weeding the list tighter on what packaged food can EVER make it into my house.

I only have about 4 restaurants I can eat at, most of them I have to special order and be careful of EVERYTHING. That's why Chang's Mongolian and the China Garden Buffet are such a relief. Chang's because I know everything that I put into the food, and China Garden because they use no MSG and so I can avoid other questionable ingredients.

I drink no sulfites; I don't eat preserved food. I stay away from heavy perfumes and paint or fresh tar smells. I avoid loud noises and bright lights and even much music most days. I try to walk (not as consistently as I'm supposed to *blush*)

But still I get bombarded by pain that won't let me think, won't let me sleep un-drugged and makes my memory like swiss cheese, and all I want to do is live a life with my family.

I know there are many people out there in worse pain, my cat, my sister, my mother-in-law...but the pain isn't helped by knowing there are more people out there feeling it or even who feel it worse. I can't judge anymore; there have been too many days of unrelenting pain, but as long as I keep joking and can manage to laugh around it I won't become the absolute b*tch I'm scared of turning into.

You know that nasty old lady that everybody avoids because all they can do is grump about themselves and how picked upon they are in their life. I REFUSE to turn into that....so b*tch slap me if I do (Not too hard tho' you'll throw out my neck again!)


Maybe that's why clowns paste on the smiles? I've done that. And I do it almost everyday on the theory of (what's above, so goes it below? ya know) so what's outside, eventually makes it to the inside, maybe? Especially when most people don't notice that the eyes have trouble smiling when the pain is that fierce. This is part of my most worthy goal to try and become less judgemental in my life and more compassionate...and you can't be compassionate and act witchy at the same time!

Though some days, (most days!) I will admit, that's a challenge....hmmm....wonder where I packed all those harlequin masks? Nah, with my karma, I'd probably get arrested while wearing them as an alleged bank robber or some other stupid shite!

in the face of a puzzled goddess who's going to take her sleeping pills, and pain pills, and muscle relaxers, and...

Creeping Vampirism and more Neat Sh*t...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I know I'm becoming a vampire; it just keeps creeping up on me, ever so slowly. I mean the pale skin, dark hair (I'm sure the blood red lips and slinky body will catch up with me eventually!).

But I've had 2, count them, 2! Massive runs of Vitamin D medicine in the last 6 months to get my levels up somewhere midway of normal. Mine are down below 20% or so...much lower than the doctor likes to see. So he gave me the first set of pills and my Vitamin D climbed wAAAAY high! Higher than the test's limits for checking...he checked again a bit later after telling me to stop taking my calcium and vitamin D supplement.

Uh oh, I guess my levels now are back down and 1/10 of a point less than they were when he first handed me the supplements...so I get to take them again. I haven't noticed any appreciable change from the increase & decrease, but maybe it's my vampire habbits of staying in the dark behind drawn curtains all the time? Nah...





But we got out to town last night!
We had to do the monthly grocery run from HELL and so I talked my Baldric into a visit to the local (kinda) goodwill.





We saw much neat sh*t!
We found a present for my
mother-in-law who loves the
fishing/coast/lighthouse theme...maybe it's all those years
living at the coast?














We then found a VERY cool carved rock (looks like soapstone) indian/persian style pieces with a wood
and mother-of-pearl inlayed board.

















The last and best gift of the day for me,
was a run through their book aisles!





My ds got a player's guide for Assasin's Creed (with my dh)
my dh got 4 or 5 books he likes.
My daughter got about 6 or so....
but the goddess herself picked up over 20
to keep herself in books for a week or two.

Blessings on you from the myopic puzzled goddess..

PS. the one in front, Second Opinion...just finished it,
great premise some good interaction with secondary
geriatric characters, but the main secondary
characterizations were flat, the heroine was pretty
idiotic as well. Darn, can't have everything.
At least the sex scenes were good.

The Muffin Man and other Bread Products...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...


We celebrated Lammas tonight (Aug 3rd). We were a few nights late, but I figure it's the sentiment that counts. I think I would be more comfortable leading rituals for my children and sharing my very real spirituality and belief in beings larger than ourselves if I hadn't spent all of my time as a solitary practitioner. I don't think they have much of an idea really of how important meditation and ritual really are to me. How could they when I keep it all internal.

Anyway, I baked a bread man as a Lammas sacrifice to thank the gods of the harvest for our abundant wealth, kind of like the pagan Thanksgiving. :)

Here's what's left of our Bread man....of course my dh HAD to bring up the "muffin man" as we were tearing off the legs and eating them. ;)

He really liked this bread recipe!
So here it is:
2 T active dry yeast
1 1/2 c warm water
3 T sugar
1 c oats
1/4 c steel cut oats
1/4 c wheat bran
1 1/2 c unbleached white flour
1 1/2 c whole wheat flour
4 T olive oil
1 t onion salt
1 T chives
1 t granulated garlic

mix, knead, let rise 1 hour, punch down and form into a 'man shape' on a large, greased baking sheet. Sprinkle with garlic salt. Let rise 1 hour. Bake at 400F for about 25-30 minutes or until golden brown and a 'knock' on the top sounds hollow. As it's cooling spread butter (not margarine, yuck!) over the top.

Makes for a moist and nummy 'heavy' bread.

blessings on all from a puzzled goddess
who DOESN'T live on Drury Lane...

The REALLY ucky green stuff...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

As I sit here, drinking my cup of spinach flavored pseudo tea, I comfort myself with the thought that at least I'm not drinking the REALLY ucky green tea that's in my cabinet; so life could be worse, right? I just have to keep looking for those silver linings.

For those of you who read my last post on ucky green stuff this is a continuation. Same not-so-bat-time, but definately the same-bat-channel. (In case you are wondering? I'm the bat!)

Yes, I'm whining again about how nasty green stuff tastes. But the Stash green stuff actually tastes less nasty than the Royal King green stuff crap I bought at Uwajimaya in Beaverton. YUCK!

That stuff is the Royal King pictured on the lower right here. I don't know if the 'smokey flavor' everyone talks about is the flavor of dirt and mold I normally taste when drinking green tea, or if it's just particular to this brand and the cup I tried at the Corvallis Beanery many years ago. (More than I'd like to remember!)

My favorite green tea so far is not pictured here. (I drank it all!) I'm looking to see where that is local to me I can find the Tazo if I can't find anything that tastes better. :) Four of the packets above are Stash teas (an Oregon based company!) The premium green tea on the upper right is my least favorite of these (tastes like spinach water!) But the Morrocan Mint, Ginger Peach and Wild Raspberry green teas are part of my daily green tea intake of 4-8 cups. (I only force myself to drink the Royal King or Stash Premium Green after dinner....puts me off eating any more food *grin*)

Just so you know, I DO force feed my family green stuff, and I'll eat it occasionally. Dinner tonight was oriental steamed brocoli spears, teriyaki pork, and pork ramen (which I can't eat due to MSG so it's not on my plate.) The teriyaki was the Lighthouse brand that J & M introduced us to (and I have to blush because I've had the bottle in my cabinet for 2 years...I just normally mix my own teriyaki!) The ramen was the standard packaged crap. But the Oriental Brocoli Spears are one of my FAVORITE vegetables....crunch and nummy and not slimy and it doesn't taste like green sand as the top of brocoli can so often. NUM....

Clean brocoli and chop off the heads to use with cheesy brocoli or some other dish. Slice the spears left on a slant into bite sized pieces in a microwave serving dish. Mix 1/2 Tablespoon fresh minced garlic (jar) with 2 Tablespoons soy sauce and 2 Tablespoons water. Add 1/2 teaspoon of granulated onion and 1/4 teaspoon of ground ginger (or 1/8 teaspoon of fresh grated ginger.) Pour over vegetables and microwave on high for no more than 3 or 4 minutes. Just so they are warm and still crunchy. MMMM! Good stuff. Could almost make me like green.....nah.

And my ds will pretty much ALWAYS eat the veggie leftovers. YAY! I trained him right!

Tasty cooking from a puzzled goddess.

Neat sh*t and geloscopy....

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

sshhh! The goddess shops at Goodwill. The goddess likes shopping at Goodwill, and Salvation Army and any other thrift store I can find. (That's why the goddess' house is buried to the eyeballs in neat sh*t! as her dh says!)

I like seeing what other people once thought was neat sh*t. We like cruising for SCA stuff.

My dd likes to occasionally find the uniquely cool piece of clothing that fits her personal style better than the current Britney Spears/Paris Hilton slut look that's in all the stores.This jacket she wore to a semi-formal awards ceremony at school was one of her finds. (After we'd struck out in all the normal clothing stores looking for something special that wouldn't make her look inappropriate.) It had cool material and loop buttons that go halfway down the front. It looks really cute on her. Sorry my pictures don't do her justice. :(

My ds is usually bored by it all (there are no decent electronics or video games!

But me, the goddess, I LOVE to look at what books people have discarded and see what treasures I can find in their midst. And so I found this one....
The Word Museum by Jeffrey Kacirk. This is such a cool book!

Where else can you find out you're a crastine because you put stuff off from day to day? And that to baffound someone is to stun and perplex them? Maybe I should have been the baffounding goddess? Nah. People are puzzled enough by me as it is!

And to answer the $64K question....geloscopy is to do divination by means of laughter. So hopefully you've gotten a chuckle or two out of this.

I've been known to get my jawing-tacks on board and to kiss the cap, but I've never had a key of the street. :)

blessings from a monsterful and puzzled goddess...

Hairballs?

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I now know how cats must feel when they have a hairball. I thought I knew, when I was pregnant, TWICE, and was throwing up my toenails for the full 10 MONTHS of the grueling ordeal, multiple times per day....but I was wrong.

I have now started losing so much hair to thyroid disease that I find it EVERYWHERE. And I swear to all the gods that I tie it back at all times...even in a BRAID. But the d*mn stuff leaps off my head and junps into whatever I'm doing! Take a bath, end up with long strands of hair wrapped through unmentionable places. Take a nap, end up with long strands of hair tickling your nose or forhead blowing in the wind from my CPAP. Make food, invariably SOMEONE ends up with a strand or two in whatever they are eating. It's a conspiracy, they can't all be mine...but I've got the longest hair in the house! aargh....

The final straw was my egg salad sandwich last night. I ate it; it tasted fine; I then noticed the feeling of a strand of hair on my tongue....as I pulled the 12 inch long piece out I choked and gagged just like my cats! I looked at it, to make sure it was mine....but I couldn't blame it on anyone else. It's gray.

It's the silly things that puzzle me most :)

Blessings from a puzzled goddess

Some tea...supposed to be good for you......

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I want to be like Mikee, especially if the food that people want me to put in my mouth is GREEN!

I know that there are more nutrients in green stuff, and since leaving my mom's house, I've discovered that all things that are cooked and green don't have to be mush...I sometimes will eat the green guck I force feed my family.

But why does green tea have to be so GREEN? And smell like canned spinach water, ugh! It's like the poor little tea leaves jumped into the cup and committed suicide because they were embarrassed by the smell. I've read multiple articles and even a book or two about the benefits of tea, especially green tea, and they have assured me that green tea is not called green because of the color....couldn't prove it by my cup.

And it tastes like fermented spinach water as well. The only brand that tastes halfway decent so far is Tazo tea. I've got a whole lot of the Stash stuff I'm trying to drink because I want to support local business, but jeez, if I wasn't trying for this getting healthy thing it would be straight into the garbage. Aagh! Maybe if I hold my nose while I swallow?

90 days and counting from kicking the aspartame habit and switching to teas or waters....still haven't had a pain free day, but I'm not any worse so that's a blessing.

Maybe I can feed it to the jolly green giant? Oh, here sprout.....

A goddess puzzled by why it's green.

Mission organization, mission too many books, mission ......impossible!

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

My DH and I have a bet.
I think I'm going to win.
I'm not sure I want to.

For the last few months I've been trying to organize our books, as a first step to organizing our videos, dvds, cds, tapes, and photos. Oh sh*t! I'm going to be buried alive before I'm done!

But anyway, the bet. I bet him that we had WELL over 2,000 books...he thinks we have about 2,000. I'm thinking more like 6,000. Even when you consider the 70-100 periodicals that are in our library, or the maybe 100 books I've added that I borrowed from libraries and input my reviews for into our library. (listed here) I think we have waaaay too many books. I know, all my bibliophile friends are cringing even as they read this. *grin* But I still have crates and boxes of unpacked books from our move over 2 YEARS ago! The local friends of the library and Goodwill will probably get a windfall once we decide what we can bear to part with.

We bought more bookshelves...my whole living room wall has been taken over by them. They've been there long enough that the creeping crud of detritus that accumulates on all horizontal surfaces is starting to infect them. We are now over 600 books in my online listing, and I don't have the whole bookcase full, and I'm far from having entered even a small portion of our library....eeek! I knew books had taken over my house. 1300 sqft of piles and boxes of books. OMG! it's silverfish heaven right here in the Gorge!

Notice from the photo that the only shelf that has been loaded 'correctly' is my dh's gaming books, but this isn't even the half of them! The middle bookcase is the start of my illumination and calligraphy library. The books are so many different sizes that I'm confuseld (like confused but worse) over how to fit them in and keep them organized.

The bet...well the prize is a book of the winner's choice of course!

Blessings to all from a puzzled goddess buried in books.

Horrible Blogs to sing along and Joss Whedon as a favorite...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I miss Joss Whedon...I miss Buffy, I miss Angel, I miss Firefly and now I'll probably miss Dr Horrible.

Just HAVE to share this with those who didn't see it. Based on the previews I was't going to watch it.

Since it was Joss Whedon we couldn't give it a miss and it snuck into our hearts. The things it makes you think about while being silly (a lot of Joss Whedon' s stuff does that to me. ) This is posted out at myspace on their videos...maybe it will disappear soon too.

Check out this video: Dr. Horribles Sing-Along Blog - Dr. Horribles Sing-Along Blog

Check out this video: Dr. Horribles Sing-Along Blog - Act Two

Check out this video: Dr. Horribles Sing-Along Blog - Act Three

Yes, Hammer is a corporate TOOL! LOL
It's a weird show that makes me root for the bad guy.

Blessings and many interesting thoughts to you from a puzzled goddess

Chick lit, road rash and whiners...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Okay, the goddess went to a little theater on Clinton Street and watched a motorcycle movie with her dh and a few friends. "The Girl on the Motorcycle" (c1968)

This movie would have qualified as chick lit, before chick lit even got the title. We had a whiny, adolescent female character, cheating on her husband (of 2 ever lasting and oh, so horrendously boring months) with a controling, arrogant and sarcastic professor who seduced little teenagers like her on the side of his teaching. (At least she wasn't a student of his.)

This movie had very little to redeem it in my eyes. The acid induced psychedelic pseudo sex scenes kept making me wonder who had gotten loose with the photoshop solarizing, and the birds that had been added as an effect in the first part of the movie and interspersed throughout made me think of Hitchcock's classic, "The Birds."

I have to admit that the shot of the hose going into the gas tank and her repeated attempts to use her motorcycle as a huge vibrator were very humorous. I probably will let the DH buy the uncut European version titled, "Naked Under Leather," which hasn't been cut to crap, but was originally rated X. But gee, the Girl on a Motorcycle version we saw was considered a really hard R in 1968. It probably wouldn't have rated much beyond a PG-13 now, especially if the shot of her leaving the bed full frontal nude was left out. (I have a hard time watching a 40 year old movie of a nude...I somehow can't help picturing in my mind what she might look like now....uck! TMI!)

I'm not sure why motorcycle riders like this movie. Most of the "rides" were done with the actress standing over the motorcycle in front of a movie screen of the scenery and the director's credibility was really stretched every time she smiled really big and didn't have to pick bugs out of her teeth, or closed her eyes as she was masturbating herself on her motorcycle, or the scenery rolled around behind her again and showed her passing the same cars.

The actual riding shots that were pretty obviously done by a stuntman were kinda cool, and it was a neat bike....maybe the other version will be better? But I doubt it. It was good for a few laughs and was REALLY hard to take seriously as an R or X movie...but I will admit, for 1968 it was cutting edge.

I think, for sheer riding enjoyment, I'd rather watch this...

Of course, my dh won't let me get away with telling him I ALREADY bought him a Harley :)

ttfn and open roads to you all from a puzzled goddess