I thought I already passed this class....

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Why do moms get their stomaches all tied in knots when their kids have a problem, or are having trouble with a class? Is it just me? Or do all moms do this?

This is pretty typical of how the kids are sleeping this week.

We've been able to revisit Romeo and Juliet this term...term paper editing tomorrow night!

I told the boy and girl about a year ago that their science homework was to the point that I couldn't really help explain things to them anymore....it doesn't seem to matter. I hated physics in high school and hated it more in college...so guess what they were in Washington, DC while it was being covered and sick for the explanations? Right. Physics. Laws of motion. Newton and crap. Ugh!

I know how important some of those concepts are, but it's the last week of the term and all work has to be in by Thursday. Guess what the boy is having trouble with? Yep. My favorite subject!
The dear hubby hates math and I get stuck with explaning those concepts to the kids, why can't he explain the science? Oh yeah, he didn't take that much science either! Crap!

The kids were both sick with high temperatures the week before spring break and missed a week before that because of their trip so it's crunch time. They only have a few days to get their work done and caught up, and now mom is running a temperature and has been for 2 weeks despite all the anti-inflamatories I normally take. :(

I guess it's nice that I finally have a temperature to break...it means my immune system is finally trying to fight the illness. But my lungs were much happier a few weeks ago. Now coughing hurts, thinking hurts (what's new?) and hell, even sleeping hurts.

Since this is the last week of the term, hubby and I also became grandparents for the last few days to obnoxiously robotic plastic dolls that have a VERY high creep factor. Ick! If babies looked and acted like this, the human race would be dead within a generation!

The girls little 'boy' was Jack, and no, the eyes don't close, it's always got that creepy Chucky stare.

And the boy's, "little darling" girl was Jill...told repeatedly and often to shut up.

This excercise seems somewhat futile for my children. They already got the point. They are in no way ready to be parents and don't want to be.

Mom and Dad have had some fun, though. Telling them all those grody infant stories of when they were babies!

At least this way they've heard about the joys of exploding diapers and 4 am feedings before they had to experience the fun for themselves.

from grandma puzzled goddess

Even goddesses get the blues...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I always thought that losing mental capacity, and knowing it, would be the worst disability to face and deal with. It's tough, it's grueling, and it makes you feel like an idiot most of the time, but you learn to live with it. Pain has this wonderful tendency to cut your cognitive abilities by large amounts and your brain functions become all about getting through the next moment or the next required task. If you are old enough to remember skipping records, it's kinda like that...repeating the same groove, over and over and over and then maybe getting beyond it to fall into another one.

Weirdly enough, my family and I have learned to live with this. The hubby and kids finish sentences for me and play 20 questions with where they think my argument was going. They put up with me snapping at them and then realizing I've been a bitch and apologizing. They put up with the days I just can't do much and all the times that plans have to be changed, or mom can't go, or mom has to be so drugged out of her mind to go that she becomes a happy pill popper hyped up to the gills who won't stop talking. I just don't think adding more crap to this is fair.

But then again, I stopped believing life was fair a LONG time ago. Karma really sucks, and I must have done many really dreadful things in other lifetimes...if this is what I deserve in this one, I've really screwed up somewhere.

For some reason, my immune system doesn't much like me. The doctors, as usual, can't seem to figure out what syndrome or disease or whatever it is that is causing things. I was finally told that my thyroid has settled into a disease called Hashimoto's Thryroiditis. Along with the fibromyalgia, and now my uveitus, all of these conditions are linked to an immune system that is attacking various areas of the body, but no one can figure out why. None of these immune disorders have very good tests, and the few tests they can do have all been inconclusive. Go figure. (An upside, at least I now know I don't have syphilis! *gee and did I ever think I did?*)

I mean, the other 3 or 4 things that are going on are physical and people can relate and figure out. I did some ripping of my rotator cuff it looks like, so I'll be seeing an orthopedic specialist for that. I have some cervical spinal degeneration so I'm seeing a PT for that, and the chronic daily debilitating migraines which everyone seems to know how to cure with the snap of their fingers and figures I'm too dumb to have tried just about every cure on the f*cking planet for...(sorry for getting hot, I may NOT have heard about the cure that worked for your brother's, sister's cousin's niece yet, but after 35 years of research, I've tried most of them and it's irritating that people don't give me the benefit of not being an idiot...but then, I know it's human nature to want to help...I really do...I just get frustrated by it all.)

Back to the immune system though...for those of you following along with the story, there will not be a happy ending, this I somehow already figured out. Ya think. ;D

It wasn't explained to me very well, if at all (I really don't remember it!) that the cortisone shots into my eye socket would further damage my eye. I knew that my sight probably would not come totally back to where it was before my immune system decided I didn't need a left eye, and that I would eventually lose more sight, but I thought the cortisone would improve things a great deal more than it has, and on top of that, the cortisone actually is giving me cataracts.

So with every shot I will lose more vision and the world through that eye will become hazier. I'm hating that I've turned into a fricken whiner about it. I thought I could take blindness, and it's only one eye, but I can't see clearly enough to read without a great deal more light nowadays; I'm having trouble seeing the computer screen, I can't paint and illuminate the medieval stuff I want to; I can't take photos that aren't fuzzy, no matter how I adjust the camera. Every time I turn around I discover a new thing that is impacted by my lack of sight in that eye. I make jokes about what mom can't see today to the kids to cover for the fact that I'm scared sh*tless and really don't want to lose any more sight. And, as usual, the eye looks perfectly normal.

I guess that most of us can look forward to cataracts when we're in our 70's or 80's...and nowadays the surgery for them is fairly routine...unless you have the retinal scarring (sneaky eye) that I do. But the hubby looked up the reasons and hows of cataract surgery and now we are both wondering why they are waiting to do it on my eye....so that's my next question for the eye experts at Casey Eye. Why do we have to wait for total blindness to overtake that eye before we put a plastic lens in place of the protein lens that is clouding up? Does the swelling in the back of my eye have to go down first? So that's the question that I'll be asking when I next see them in May.

Oh yeah, to drive at night they suggested I get an eye patch. Driving one eyed is perfectly legal and the patch would help the glaring reflections I get on that side from the oncoming headlights flashing in the cataract. R still isn't buying letting me drive at all though. He says it's to protect me and the other poor fools that might be sharing the road with me...maybe he's right.

from the pirate goddess

Castles are kewl...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...
Or not. We got to hold an event this last weekend at the Husum Castle in Washington. Very cool place. It's normally rented out for weddings, but we have an in. ;D

It was a kick to wander around in garb at a location that was closer to medieval than most things in this country.

Here's Kerryk in front of what I believe is the south face of the castle.

We spent most of the day feasting and merry making in the castle's main room.





The stairs down to the kitchen were curved and narrow in the tower.





While the kitchen itself was small.


On the opposite side of the castle from the kitchen access is the main building which has 4 floors plus a basement.

Each floor has a bedroom suite and a bathroom. At the very top is a party room that is open to the outside air and has a small, "musician's gallery" off of one corner in the top of the tower.

All in all it was a fun day, we got to hear epic poems, songs, and stories; play games; participate in lampwork bead making; and eat lots of good food!

from a puzzled goddess feeling medieval...

Nightly meditation is not enough...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

For years now, I've meditated. Different format, different breathing patterns, grounding and centering or not depending on my goal in the meditation. I now have 3 new ways to meditate! lol (Do you suspect it's as much of an overkill as I do?)

The yoga-like one I've never done before though. ;D Mostly because I always felt silly getting into a position like that and reciting a mantra. But it's what the pain center experts want me to try, so we do it.

(I'm still thinking permanent studs in the head might be more fun, and think of all the airport metal detectors I could set off! wee!) Darn, I guess they use gold, and at least they know it has a chance of working in dogs. ;D

from a puzzled goddess

Sneaky eyes and nays...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

If I could have said no....I probably wouldn't have. Found out today, from the top expert in the state, that my uveitus is chronic and will reoccur throughout my life, and that my vision hadn't improved much in the last few weeks as we awaited test results. (no shit?!) I guess at the 6 month point, they consider that this isn't an acute attack. It would have been nice if they'd figured this out before I ended up with retinal scarring, what the eye doctors called sneaky eye....my eye has basically decided it doesn't much like letting light into it. It does have a pretty cloverleaf pattern to my pupil now though. ;D

Once again, my body tests as fairly normal, I probably don't have Sarcoidosis, Lupus, or Lymphoma. I've only currently got symptoms in one eye, and the tests came back okay so they're thinking the cancer thing isn't it. They're pretty positive it's not a virus (the inflamation is more prevalent in the back of my eye than the front which is indicative of some type of auto immune response.) They explained it as being like arthritis...ie. arthritis is your own immune system attacking your joints, this is my own immune system attacking my eye. Ergo, no solution, no underlying cause, and as usual we treat the symptoms.

I got the needle in the eye socket thing today. I was misled; they didn't stick it through my eye, just around my eye socket...the actual aim is to miss putting it in the eye entirely. (Gee shucks, and I missed that?) The treatment is supposed to be about 70% effective in most people, but less risky to me than if they gave me oral steroids to try and treat the inflamation systemically. (My whole well-padded body thanks you for deciding against that...runs of steroids are part of what helped me add to my Junoesque frame!) I can get these shots about every month, if it helps reduce the inflamation and swelling in the back of the eye, but I have to be monitored every few weeks to make sure the pressure inside my eye doesn't go up. (I don't know if the eyeball bursts if it does, don't really want to know...just let me live in blissful ignorance.)

My dear daughter spent most of dinner watching my eye swell and commenting on how horrible it looks...she's right. And the darn swelling in the socket looks like a blistered bag under my lid that I could pack clothes for a week in! My CPAP breathing mask doesn't much like the fluid there either, everytime the mask shifted it woke me up...which is why I have time to update my adoring public with all the gruesome and boring details.

Life's okay, R is tired and the kids already have spring fever...
more later from a puzzled goddess who may soon be able to drive again...fear me.

More of life intervening among the living...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

The eye, something they are calling uveitus is still decreasing my visual field to half. I've been referred into another pain clinic to let them put me through their paces and see if any new treatment stuff pops out. Not holding out much hope, but it's bad enough that I've got to spend some real time and effort to see if they can do anything that will help alleviate some of the pain.

Had some xrays and an MRI done; another pschological evaluation (oh, please, tell me I'm imagining this so you can tranq me and let it stop!), and today another PT evaluation. It sounds like they have a few new techniques I haven't tried yet...we'll give it the old college try and see how it goes, not much it can hurt.

Tomorrow we talk about the needles in the eye. They can't seem to find a cause, and the symptom isn't going away, and since the symptom is almost total blindness in that eye....well they're finally going to do something about it. Yay! and scared at the same time. But I've been missing my sight there since August and I'm starting to worry about more permanent damage. There's already retinal scarring around my pupil...the eye won't dialate very well....it looks like a chewed up flower edge when seen with the optometrist's cameras. (Here it just looks fuzzy and almost blue...no, it doesn't belong to smurfette! She can get her own!)

I'm up because "medicine is gggggooooooddddddd" especially after a day of bending, twisting and being stuck in a tube that roared and was 2 sizes too small for my current well padded and claustraphobic bulk. Yuck! Came out of there shaking. But I sure wasn't gonna hit the panic button and have to nerve myself up to start all over, NO, and HELL NO.

I've still got the sniffly flu and am sleeping when I can, cooking and doing the occassionally housewifely laundry pile when I can't and struggling to ride herd on 2 cats in the form of teenagers who need to be kept on track so they get some of their time for themselves!

The kids had a cool trip, and for those who didn't hear all the details, I'll post more later when I can access their pics. Great experience and mom and dad are so proud! R is hanging in there with his winter/Spring SADS and we all are just trying to hold it together until our budget can recover from the rape by the oil companies this last year.....wouldn't it be neat if the government made the oil companies contribute those usurous 'record profits' to bailing out the nations banking system....gee, or just tax the shit out of companies who bomb the economy and try to tank the country just because they can.

from a puzzled goddess in a funky mood....later....

Life's been getting ahead of me lately...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

The pain's been bad, life has been hectic (gee, maybe the two are related?) I've got Iritus in my left eye and have had since late August-early September and am a bit concerned about trying to clear it up and maybe save the sight in that eye. But I'm not typical...my eye isn't all red an nasty looking...as usual I just don't look sick. Good or bad? You look normal, so why can't you do it?

Believe me I think about it. I'm not saying that I want to be an amputee, or blind in a way people can tell, or anything like that. I guess I just wish people were more compassionate and less judgemental of other people. This blog gives me a bit of hope occasionally, when I get feeling down this way.

for Christine M. http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/

Love you all....from a puzzled goddess

Pet abuse?

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

What is the impulse that humans have to do cutesy things to their pets around the holidays? And the things they put on themselves are even worse! lol

We followed the trend this year. I couldn't help it, there was an evil genius at work.

I thought my 13 year old cat would be the grumpiest about this, because she likes NOTHING! Instead, she was very sedate about it and just gave me the long suffering look. :)

My daughter's beast Leon however wasn't pleased, but he was tolerant and actually didn't run away. lol









The dog, Shadow, who is normally long suffering and willing to do just about anything, didn't much like dressing up as Santa. I couldn't keep the coat on him. ;)












And last, and the littlest, Mystique, thoroughly hated every minute of the ordeal and let us know it! We actually bought the suit for her!

Merry Yule from a puzzled goddess

Snow is good, right?

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

It's snowing; it's been snowing; it is supposed to keep snowing. Unlike my daughter, I like snow. I just feel so rushed this holiday that I feel like it is cutting into my already short supply of time. It doesn't help that I'm trying to actually SLEEP for, like, 8 or so hours a day, even if it's in snatches.

The pain induced insomnia is a bitch, and it's not like I get anything productive done while I'm waiting to sleep. I'd love to be able to say I'm Martha Stewart or Betty Crocker when my head's exploding, but such is not the case. I'm lucky month to month if I can keep up with the grocery shopping and meal planning, some laundry, helping with some homework and riding the kids to do their chores. We try to go to all the home games at least for all the sports our kids are involved with as well. Whew! I understand why people get so depressed this time of year.

Add debt that's piled up when the oil companies raped us all and necessities I've put off buying for the kids and ourselves and I'm feeling the pinch.

We finally broke down and got new cell phones. Yes, even for our kids. We got the best models that come free with our plan (free, hah!) but I also got the program that t-mobile has that will allow me to give everyone allowances of our plan minutes, and I can change it depending on if they have completed their responsibilities or not. (*evil laugh*) THIS I can get into!

What sucks is that now I have to learn chat speak...ugh!

from a frazzled puzzled goddess

I promised a look at how it went...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

For those not interested in Medieval Illumination, ignore this post.

I started this scroll months ago, when I knew we'd have to make some kind of quasi-official request of Three Mountains of their patronage. I asked on Known Worlde Scribal lists about wording, and got no good answer so I proceeded to deal with it myself.

"Unto the Most Noble Alfric and Jill, Baron and Baroness Three Mountains do the peoples on your eastern borders send you greetings on this 13th day of December, Anno Societatus XLIII, being 2008 in the common era.

We seek the boon of your kind patronage as we attempt to strengthen our great kingdom, An Tir, by building a canton on your eastern border in the counties of Hood River and Wasco.

In support of this we do make our marks as the people of the incipient Canton of Haukesgaard, do the heralds deem it meet.


(Marks:)
HL Kerryk Wolfram, Rebecca C. Graham, HL Sannan Cairgnorn, Ashayet, Meredith Elizabeth Walter, Juliet duBlunt, Elfwyn, Hayley Graham, Steven Graham, Matt palmer, Cedryk Farskyes, Meg Lethel, Connor Cameron Hawk, Epona of Vanir-Law, Casandra O'Dell, James Douglas O'Dell, Elfwyn"

I took inspiration from 3M's website where they were using the Grand Heures of the Duc de Burgundy (if I remember correctly. It's either the grand or the Belle. He commissioned MANY books of hours.) So I knew I wanted to place it somewhere in the Gothic time period. (Well beyond my own personna's time!) So...I looked through my scribal books and came across a discontinued library copy of a facsimilie production of the Hours of Catherine of Cleves (c. 1440) I won't bore you with the background of how they dated the manuscript, etc. You can read the book or ask me, if I remember beyond yesterday. *grin*I knew that I wanted the elements of a hawk (heraldically an eagle with jesses it seems like), 3 mountains (for the representative barony), a deep valley or gorge and a keep. All of these elements are part of our heraldry for our group, and I wanted to represent the group.

I had the drawing of the winner of the 'best representation of a hawk,' from May Revel last year (yes, we've been working on getting this together for almost 2 years!) and I wanted to use that so that Meredith(Missa) would still feel included in spirit though she's travelled afar from us in body! This also pushed the era beyond mine, into one of more realistic looking miniatures.

So, materials choice. I can't currently afford true vellum, so hot press art paper of 90-120 lbs is considered an appropriate substitute. I think mine was Arches 110lb press. I used a quarter of a sheet to get the scroll to be a good size for matting and framing without special orders.

Gold choice. Gold is a large part of this piece, but I can't afford patent or leaf gold currently to do gilding or shell gold for painting so I had to be satisfied with the use of Sumi Gold Watercolor Ink.
I used Winsor-Newton designer goache paints and one or two colors of M.Graham designer goache.

I first created a cartoon on an 11"X17" piece of graph paper, cut down to 11"X15". I drafted out the margins, the calligraphy and letter blocks, the vine margin area and the central picture area. The margins on the left in the original are larger, since it was meant to be bound into a manuscript, I tried to keep that look. Also, the upper margin was smaller than the bottom, again I tried to keep the look.

I didn't want human figures in the border of this so I replaced the seated monk with some additional acanthus leaves and a bird in the border. My scroll isn't an exact match on purpose, just, "done in the style of."

The picture was sketched in on the cartoon and the text spaced. I did forget to draw in a frame around that actual picture, which I would correct if attempting this style again. I would also allow more spacing in the calligraphy. But this was the first time I'd tried this hand, so the results were acceptable, if not great. ;)

Since we had people showing up at many different times to sign this thing, I had the signatures placed on the scroll before the wording was calligraphied. They were shown the cartoon with the final wording and design so they knew what they were signing.

I also proceded backwards from most in that I did the calligraphy before the illumination, since I was much more comfortable with my illumination skills than with my calligraphy skills on a brand new hand. :)

I had a delay in the middle of this process when I lost the majority of the sight in my left eye due to the liquid separating from the cornea, supposed to get better sometime soon, but I got to the point where I couldn't wait for that. So, this was finished by a one-eyed scribe. :)

I transfered the design from the cartoon to the actual scroll via lightbox. Then I worked the calligraphy. I didn't feel up to the challenge of breaking down the form of gothic used in these hours and coming up with my own ductus, so I went to Marc Grogin's book and used the Gothic Textura from the period involved. My paleography is not quite up to doing it myself yet. :)

I kept my color pallet small and bright and close to the colors in the original. Spectrum Red and Grenadine red highlighting, Pale cadmium yellow, Ultramarine Blue, Sap Green, Burnt Umber, zinc white and titanium white.

This is how the final scroll turned out. I won't point out any more of my mistakes, but gee it was a learning experience!

from a puzzled goddess who went medieval all over a scroll :)

SCA Events and Wow! What wordy people we all are . ..

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

But then I have friends with such insightful things to say! I am finally caught up on all the blogs I try to follow...I think.

I have to apologize for being out of it for the last few weeks. My eyesight is pretty well shot and my cold is still lingering.

We did manage to get to an SCA event this last weekend. It's been one we've looked forward to, Yule Feast, hosted by the Baronies of Stromgard and 3 Mountains. One more step closer to becoming a real group out here on the Oregon side of the Gorge. We got to petition their excellencies Alfric and Jill to support our efforts. We now look to having our efforts published and proclaimed in the Portland area for a few months, and if people don't object we'll be able to submit our name and device and file our paperwork. Then it will be the turn of Kingdom and Crown to see if we will be real. ("Oh, if only we could be a real group!" lol)

We gave gifts and had fun. I tried my hand at period cookies for their excellencies Stromgard. Her Excellency Reginleif was amazingly sweet for trying the cookies immediately. I doubt she could have been at all hungry considering the excellent feast that was there, but I finally got my chance to make truly period cookies. (For those who are wondering, "Jumbals" and it was either from, "To the King's Taste" or, "To the Queen's Taste." I think the latter based on the time period of the reference, but I'm too lazy to go look it up again right now.) Kerryk gave their Excellencies Three Mountains some of his fine blackberry liquor, and we had handmade glass beads, a beaded necklace, a period game board, some apple brandy(? I think) and more of the cookies. Alfric is a diabetic, as are Kerryk and I, so the food items will probably get passed on, heck it's largess, it will all probably get passed on.

Kerryk DID try to give away Cedryk during the ceremony, over his strenuous objections, but the Baron wasn't taking. :) {I don't think anyone but Francessca noticed me trying to give her away. ;D} I finished the scroll with time to spare and we got to bring it home! Now I get to look at all the things I did wrong until we have a new seneschal for the group and we can pass it on! :) I'll blog later about the scroll and how it turned out.


We had a wonderful time talking to old friends and making new ones. Kerryk and Cedryk were glued to the fighting (I have 60 pictures of one fighter's armor so that I can make a gambeson like his for Cedryk. *grin*) Francesca was helping out and enjoying seeing friends from past events. She even got to sit on St. Nicholas' lap! I, being a creature of habit, painted on charters, ate, talked, and ate. :)






Mom Elfwyn made sure to share the period porn she found with my family LOL and got her grandson to cringe. (Notice the fingers are SPREAD over the eyes though!)









Wirawen danced divinely and it was like poetry. There was live music most of the day and even some dancing. Sven One Eye won the cooking contest. The marzipan was shaped and some spiced and placed on 2 big trays and disappeared! lol Chrodek and his family were there and we got to sit close enough together that we could share conversation. So, all in all, it was a great event.

And for those who let the weather forecast frighten them...since when have the weathermen been accurate? lol We didn't have any bad weather or snow until 3 or 4 hours after we got home! (Though you wouldn't know it by the number of times my big sister called me to check on me. *grin* She's inherited my mom's worrying tendencies, ouch!)

until next time from a very medieval feeling puzzled goddess

I have been flogged back to the keyboard...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

even though the Goddess of Everything is a very nice lady, she is a strict taskmistress. (NO, not in any BD/S&M way! get your minds back up in the gutter with the rest of us...where it's crowded!)

She actually reminded me that it's been almost a month/over a month since I posted. I'm still sick, the kids are still around and Rick hasn't left me yet. All good! LOL

I will say that we had a good visit with an old friend who was home from Iraq for a few days. Have been following his book, it's doing very well. (Thanks for giving the boy advice on his future. He's so intense it's scary sometimes.)
But I blush to say I haven't kept up on the blogs that he and his wife write in the last few weeks. (Sorry guys!) I seem to have been doing my level best to cough a lung up or lose an eye.

My girl is taking a break from sports for herself and has taken a job as the scorekeeper for the basketball team. So she gets to see more of the games than we do!

The boy is playing basketball (or not playing this last week because I don't want his ankle permanently injured!) Currently he's very irritated with mom, cuz mom won't let him play or practice on his sprained ankle...cuz the boy has NO concept of when to quit and give it a rest, and his coach won't make him sit out when the drills are rough on an ankle that has been permanently injured since October Football season. We discovered the kid is a bit flat footed and pronates his foot when he's running. Orthodics correct some of it, but the start and stop drills are hard on ankles that aren't totally used to running in the correct position yet. :) So mom is the bad guy.

I'll just have to deal. I'd rather he and his teammates were irritated with me now, than find out when he's 18 that his ankle isn't up to the career he wants to follow. He's got the typical sports mentality of ice it, tape it, bandage it, if the pain is tolerable keep playing....hmmm wonder where he got that (speaks the woman with a leg scarred from a legiment repair and who spent part of every season in an ankle brace or nursing broken toes or fingers. Playing through pain is one thing, but continuing to injure a joint and keeping it too weak to heal is something else entirely.

This picture is unusual for a game in that he is standing almost still while his teammate is zipping by.

This second one is much more indicative of the shots I normally get. :)

He's lost about 20 lbs between football and basketball...and he has muskcles! He's almost not my baby anymore! (*whine*) I think all the weight is being redistributed in his arms and shoulders!

Sorry, I wasn't going to make this whole post about the boy, but it's what I'm thinking about right now.

from a sneezy puzzled goddess

Immune systems are nice...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I wish I had one. I'm about a month into my yearly 3 to 4 months of cold, flu, and general malaise. I really should have gotten those flu and pneumonia shots this year. I think they cut the time I was sick last year by about half.

I run constantly to not even stay afloat. Crap. All of us have so much going on that none of us are getting enough sleep.

I'm playing musical bed with my animals every time I do try to sleep so I've almost reached the point of giving up. My old, grumpy kitty is fine. She lays in my arms now like my kids used to do when they were babies. ;) It is a nice feeling. (Of course, they never had quite that much fur!)

The dear husband's dog on the other hand ( I don't claim him. I won't, he craps on my floors when he's mad and he gets WAY too friendly to the kitten and to visitor's legs! It's embarrassing!) this animal thinks that he needs to sleep ON mom's legs. ALL night! I end up waking up with back spasms and a sciatica and half of my body numb cuz my muscles have just taken too much abuse already to put up with his, admittedly slight, weight added to it.

My sleep doctor says that all animals should be kicked out of the bed. (Try telling that to a 13 year old b@tch cat with claws. I'll stand back while you explain it to her, repeatedly!) I think I'd miss our furry friends, but then I missed cuddling with the kids and "morning snuggles," once they got old enough to be on and about their day when they grew up. I do have to admit that I'm lucky enough to get snuggles and hugs from them when they come home from school and I'm napping. I know they are just trying to put off the evil moment when they have to start homework and their chores, but I delude myself into believing they like the contact. ;D

Enough whiney BS from today. We're all alive, in debt, and dreading the thought of a 15 year old boy with a learner's permit...ouch!

Can I sign up to skip his birthday this year?




Excuse the disjointed ramblings. My posts are not nearly as well thought out as they should be.


from a puzzled goddess watching the time scream by at warp speed

Halloween has come and gone...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I don't know whether I feel ecstatic or panicked. The girl was working out a costume at the last minute and wanted me to help her sew something. Yuk! I dislike sewing intensely, but the thought of digging my sewing machine out of the pile of stuff that has accumulated on it since my dear husband decided to rearrange my living room....no and hell no. Just don't have the energy.

So we talked, and she said that a belly dance costume would be okay. hmmm....I have a few of those. Haven't fit me for many years...might as well get some use out of all the work putting them together.

Made me want to cry. She looks MUCH better in them than I ever did, and she is only 13! (Hear the internal mother wailing! My Baby!)

I don't remember EVER looking this good!

from a puzzled goddess who misses her baby...waaaaaah

Just catching up...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I'm doing my fall/winter sickness thing again this year. Hmmm...I probably shouldn't have put off going to the doctor and getting that pneumonia and flu shot they recommended, huh? I seem to have been nothing but sick for the last month. Between the physical malaise, the mental kicking myself and the constant pain I have been fairly unproductive.

I did take the opportunity though to come up with an "accomplishments" sheet for myself that I post on the fridge and update throughout the day. This is allowing me to affirm that I'm not a total waste of skin and that I DO accomplish quite a few things during my days and evenings. I've also got a breakdown of the day on it where I record pain levels. I've decided it's time again to try and figure out how I might be able to 'manage' the pain instead of just enduring it. So I'm trying to get some data (how concrete sequential of me, I know!) and then I'll throw some graphs out to see if my pain levels have any kind of pattern. (Silly me, why would I think there was a pattern? lol)

Anyway, I've been madly busy with the kids homecoming week and the wrap up of their sports seasons for football and volleyball and trying to keep them on top of their chores and homework and helping out when I could. :(

I DON'T like playing taxi. I hate it, hate it, hate it. But I like being involved in my kid's lives, so the good with the bad.

For a woman who doesn't know what a tight end IS, beyond the obvious!, I sure am learning a great deal about the manly game of football, and WHY? young men like to play it. Did you know they compare jerseys after a game to see whose has the most blood on it? It's got to be a male thing.

Leaving sports...(can we really, please?)
We've eaten out way too often this month, but we've done it with the kids so that we don't miss that family togetherness time I've become used to at the dinner table. I think it's one of the main reasons that our kids still talk to us. :) But I truly think that some of the reason the hubby suggests going out so often is that when we don't, we both look around and wince at all the things we should be doing. It doesn't have a tendency to make for a very relaxing evening.

Not much more to say. I'm missing out on an event with my husband right now because I really need to try and unwind and get the pain levels under control. So...it's back to meditation, medication, bio-feedback, and bed.

later....
from a puzzled goddess

Scary people...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I'm still fighting that cold, but I looked at some of the blogs I follow, and was extremely disturbed by this:



Since when do people running for office in a country that supposedly believes in the separation of church and state hold a prayer that denigrates one of the largest growing religious segments in the country?

Obviously, now.

I am so scared about what is going on in this country. I've become afraid to raise my voice in protest because I'm not sure my country protects my right to protest anymore. Even writing this scares me. I wish I could be as calm as Deborah Blake in her response to Palin.



from a puzzled goddess who is shaking in her broom closet

The Catch-22 of health and the mystique of a busy family...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Not that there's anything particularly full of mystique about my family...just the felines. :)

It's been awhile. I've been fighting the dreaded winter cold and have had a REALLY bad week, pain-wise. It's always a Catch-22 when one thing goes south...everything else jumps on board for the ride. I've discovered I'm pretty much night blind so won't be going much of anywhere up and down the freeway here. The oncoming lights totally destroy my vision. I knew it was coming. It's only going to get worse so I need to develop coping strategies now.

Speaking of sight...Aargh! I look around and want to put on blinders. I can't walk to the restroom without being afraid something from my son's room is going to come out and get me.

Sometimes it does...Mystique has decided that he is HER boy! No doubt about it, and she is so cute climbing up and down the ladder on the loft bed. I kid you not; she navigates it like a pro. I keep trying to catch a picture of it, but can't get to the camera in time. She just doesn't like to perform on command. Ya think? How catlike of her. :) But she will pose like Bast.

My boy has inherited his dad's lack of organization....groan. It wouldn't be so bad except I refuse to go around and pick up after people anymore. So my house looks like a war zone. Each of us has our own territory and woe to anyone who encroaches on the territory of another! And each of us swears we know where EVERYTHING is...so don't move it or you'll lose an arm!

Sometimes I feel like the dining room table is Alsace-Lorraine. :)

And the plate just gets fuller(?) more full (?) stuffed! Now, what ever possessed my daughter to run for 9th grade rep? We're counting down to their spirit week for their homecoming dance the weekend after next, and I've spent more time discussing floats and their construction and what will and won't work than I ever thought I would need to. :)

On top of that load, she threw her back out again at practice tonight. I'm afraid she's not going to be playing in the game tomorrow night. Both kids seem to have been plagued by injuries this season. I think some of it is that they both decided this Summer that exercise wasn't a priority...gee...ya think they're paying for it now?

I'm taking a break from the first of the month bill paying, so I better get back to it so I can sleep before dawn.
Here's a picture I had to include for shear silliness.

Blessings to all from a puzzled goddess who hates monthly bills

And when do I pamper me?...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Volleyball and football season are almost over...only about another 3 weeks. But now we're heading into cold and flu season. The boy has the sniffles and has passed them on to me. I've slept all day curled up with my kitty. Her temperment hasn't improved in 13 years!

He'll probably be well in a day or two with enough sleep. Me? I'll be sick for the next 3 or 4 months the way my immune system works! I pampered myself with a bubble bath in candlelight with music tonight and my dear husband was a sweetheart and did the dishes I'd promised my daughter I'd do while she was at her game. [I lied!] I did TRY to do them...just not very hard. :)

I still probably will, as well as make lunches for everyone, switch the loads of laundry, fold 3 or 4 or 5 loads of laundry, run the first of the month bills, and then finally get to the stuff I need to have done for later in the week. Jeesh, being disabled is hard work! [and that really is no lie.]

I'm just putting off the inevitable...so I'll say goodbye.

from a puzzled goddess

Gee, really? a violation of copyright? No...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Unless you've been in a dark hole and haven't listened to much internet/computer news lately or you aren't addicted to facebook, you've probably heard that Mattel and Hasbro are sueing the makers of Scrabulous.

The Indian courts where they sued weren't so sympathetic to the big toymakers however.

The LA Times reported that the Indian courts didn't think the game was a violation of the Scrabble trademark, just the name. :) It seems an interesting take on it, since the rules are exactly the same as on that moldy game that most of us have buried in a closet somewhere...or in the local Goodwill!

I know that's where I got one of the last Scrabble boards we had; I think this one was actually given to us by a friend. We thought it would help the kid's vocabulary to play. After the first 5 or 6 times that mom and dad wiped the board with them, it wasn't a popular game anymore. Surprise! LOL

But this summer, when a good friend was laid up and recovering from some major surgery, I got hooked on playing the email version of this silly @ss, turn based game that I rarely would even bother to pull out of the games closet. Wow! Hasbro and Mattel missed the boat on this one. All that good will and marketing revenue...gone, in the space of a dumb lawsuit. Much better to co-opt the application and buy out the developers.

The old scrabulous site is now gone. With no warning for those of us who had games going...but I've now found Wordscraper a much improved version of Scrabble on facebook that allows you to set your own game rules. :) Now if they just had an email version of the game.

Ha, I just found out that the scrabulous application is going to be lexulous.com and will have the email games back up in a few days. I tried out their solitaire mode just a bit ago and their Java ap killed my firefox sessions...so maybe I'll give it a day or two. :)

from a puzzled goddess who was enjoying improving her vocabulary, even if I had no idea what half those words meant...

Musical peace train time...take 3 and more...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

There's this cool place on the web that will let you play with playlists of songs and create one that people can listen to. Move over social networking, this is just too much fun!

After I wrote the first music blog the other night, I went out on facebook and looked for an ap that would allow me to put music on my profile, like I can on myspace (not that I can run it or hear it since I'm using Firefox! aargh!) But I found this cool little thing to share! :) I f you don't like my music choices, just turn it off, or jump the page.

I just think it was cool that I found so many different types out there!