I have been flogged back to the keyboard...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

even though the Goddess of Everything is a very nice lady, she is a strict taskmistress. (NO, not in any BD/S&M way! get your minds back up in the gutter with the rest of us...where it's crowded!)

She actually reminded me that it's been almost a month/over a month since I posted. I'm still sick, the kids are still around and Rick hasn't left me yet. All good! LOL

I will say that we had a good visit with an old friend who was home from Iraq for a few days. Have been following his book, it's doing very well. (Thanks for giving the boy advice on his future. He's so intense it's scary sometimes.)
But I blush to say I haven't kept up on the blogs that he and his wife write in the last few weeks. (Sorry guys!) I seem to have been doing my level best to cough a lung up or lose an eye.

My girl is taking a break from sports for herself and has taken a job as the scorekeeper for the basketball team. So she gets to see more of the games than we do!

The boy is playing basketball (or not playing this last week because I don't want his ankle permanently injured!) Currently he's very irritated with mom, cuz mom won't let him play or practice on his sprained ankle...cuz the boy has NO concept of when to quit and give it a rest, and his coach won't make him sit out when the drills are rough on an ankle that has been permanently injured since October Football season. We discovered the kid is a bit flat footed and pronates his foot when he's running. Orthodics correct some of it, but the start and stop drills are hard on ankles that aren't totally used to running in the correct position yet. :) So mom is the bad guy.

I'll just have to deal. I'd rather he and his teammates were irritated with me now, than find out when he's 18 that his ankle isn't up to the career he wants to follow. He's got the typical sports mentality of ice it, tape it, bandage it, if the pain is tolerable keep playing....hmmm wonder where he got that (speaks the woman with a leg scarred from a legiment repair and who spent part of every season in an ankle brace or nursing broken toes or fingers. Playing through pain is one thing, but continuing to injure a joint and keeping it too weak to heal is something else entirely.

This picture is unusual for a game in that he is standing almost still while his teammate is zipping by.

This second one is much more indicative of the shots I normally get. :)

He's lost about 20 lbs between football and basketball...and he has muskcles! He's almost not my baby anymore! (*whine*) I think all the weight is being redistributed in his arms and shoulders!

Sorry, I wasn't going to make this whole post about the boy, but it's what I'm thinking about right now.

from a sneezy puzzled goddess

The Catch-22 of health and the mystique of a busy family...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Not that there's anything particularly full of mystique about my family...just the felines. :)

It's been awhile. I've been fighting the dreaded winter cold and have had a REALLY bad week, pain-wise. It's always a Catch-22 when one thing goes south...everything else jumps on board for the ride. I've discovered I'm pretty much night blind so won't be going much of anywhere up and down the freeway here. The oncoming lights totally destroy my vision. I knew it was coming. It's only going to get worse so I need to develop coping strategies now.

Speaking of sight...Aargh! I look around and want to put on blinders. I can't walk to the restroom without being afraid something from my son's room is going to come out and get me.

Sometimes it does...Mystique has decided that he is HER boy! No doubt about it, and she is so cute climbing up and down the ladder on the loft bed. I kid you not; she navigates it like a pro. I keep trying to catch a picture of it, but can't get to the camera in time. She just doesn't like to perform on command. Ya think? How catlike of her. :) But she will pose like Bast.

My boy has inherited his dad's lack of organization....groan. It wouldn't be so bad except I refuse to go around and pick up after people anymore. So my house looks like a war zone. Each of us has our own territory and woe to anyone who encroaches on the territory of another! And each of us swears we know where EVERYTHING is...so don't move it or you'll lose an arm!

Sometimes I feel like the dining room table is Alsace-Lorraine. :)

And the plate just gets fuller(?) more full (?) stuffed! Now, what ever possessed my daughter to run for 9th grade rep? We're counting down to their spirit week for their homecoming dance the weekend after next, and I've spent more time discussing floats and their construction and what will and won't work than I ever thought I would need to. :)

On top of that load, she threw her back out again at practice tonight. I'm afraid she's not going to be playing in the game tomorrow night. Both kids seem to have been plagued by injuries this season. I think some of it is that they both decided this Summer that exercise wasn't a priority...gee...ya think they're paying for it now?

I'm taking a break from the first of the month bill paying, so I better get back to it so I can sleep before dawn.
Here's a picture I had to include for shear silliness.

Blessings to all from a puzzled goddess who hates monthly bills

No photo finish, or even photos...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

It's been a few days. My dh said it best for me...whew! We've been running since school started, and since they haven't been great weeks for me pain-wise I've been haunting social networking sites. :) I know it's lame, but keeping company with other insomniacs playing pathwords, scrabbulous or doing puzzles is mindless enough to occupy the brain while I wait for meds to kick in enough for me to sleep and it doesn't let me WHINE! Which I truly do hate, but which I seem to do constantly here. Sorry.

My darling didn't tell you that the JV Volleyball WON! This was an especially big thing because the first match was won by 2 points, the second lost by 2 points and the third won by 2 points! Close games! The football game had ended by their second game and they had quite a few fans come in from outside to see out the finish. What a rush for them to have people yelling and stomping in enthusiasm!

The football game wasn't bad. I know little about football so I just jumped and shouted when my boy was in. :) I got my exercise walking between the two activities. There is a huge-@ss hill between the gym and the football field. I must have hiked that route 6 times up and down before my hubby got through traffic and got to the game. Gosh, I didn't know I could do it that many times, still! LOL The boys were down over 40 points at the half, but in the second half their defense held the other team scoreless! Made the son feel good since he plays starting defense!

He was playing a different position that he's never played I guess during this game. Normally he's the noseguard (?) but they had a guy who was about 6'5" and weighed about 260lbs that they put my pore 5'10" 180lb stripling up against! Ouch! But my boy is one of the bigger guys on our team. It's mostly freshman and juniors.

The boy wasn't happy with the guy opposite him. The first time he came down on the son, when the son pushed him off, he kicked him! The refs caught it though and penalized the kid. He did something else to the son that drew a penalty [thank gods, the refs were vigilant! Or else they knew who to watch!] But once my boy figured out how to bring the behemoth down, being a boy, he couldn't keep from the smacktalk! Aargh! Just HAS to get that smart mouth he inherited from his dad going! We warned him though that smack talk when you have the adrenalin that high is likely to lead to fists flying either during or after the game.

But it was a good time. We went to pizza. I can't share pictures because I was dumb enough to REFORMAT THE FRICKEN PHOTO CARD at the pizza place when I was reviewing the 200 pictures I took of all my kids wonderful moments! AARGH!

So, maybe next time I'll get some photos...
from a exhausted puzzled goddess.

Punch drunk in the past...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Feelin' a bit whoosy tonight, probably left over meds and fatigue. But got some good bonding time with the family tonight. The kids went to practice and brought home another freshman from their class who needed some homework help.

He's a good kid. He's made some wrong choices in the last few years...like getting to 17 with 2.5 credits toward high school graduation. [It wasn't important, Obviously no one had ever explained how much it was, and gotten it through to him!] He is in most of the kids classes and seems to pick it up well. He's not stellar, but I've seen MUCH worse. And he hates feeling stupid so he's gone back to school so he doesn't have to feel that way. Probably smartest decision the kid ever made.

If he keeps up with it, the whole family has told him he's more than welcome to come over and study with the kids. We sometimes still talk about assignments and I learn stuff. :) Did you know how much science has changed in 25 years? I'm finding out!

The boy's got some of the concerns with having groupies/followers/stalkers/puppydogs whatever you want to call them, that the girl has been dealing with for quite a few years in various degrees. She's gotten much more compassionate to people who are outsiders though, she's had to deal with being a bullied outsider since we moved to this little school with many strangely raised children. She's a freak, but a freak with followers now and so finds some acceptance. Plus, she's discovered the wonderful feeling of being the BEST at something. SHE is the BEST in her school at scholastics. Not the quickest learner, but the one who listens and follows through and is responsible and thinking.

The boy isn't that geared to wanting to put a label on himself. He's a natural student (unfortunately it comes too easy to him), a natural athlete (though he does have to work to be a starter at his age) and he's a natural leader, being a boy with a strong sense of right and wrong and a genuine hero complex. He's been having to deal with 'followers' for years, and while it drives him nuts, he's been as pleasant as he could. And in some cases, he's even been the one following.

He's got a friend currently who is far from social adept (I'd have to say total social gamer geek.) This guy wants to be joined at the hip from the time they get to school until the boy goes to football practice. The kid isn't sports oriented, it's all video games...which is the trap we are working to get our son out of. We want him playing and moving in the real world.

It's taken this kid 2 years, but he's almost totally run my son's patience away. We keep counselling to redirect the conversations you don't want to participate in toward another subject. Be polite and don't cut him down, and may like hey, c-o-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-e and tell him that he's increasing your stress by constantly bringing gamer talk to school when you want to socialize with other people and learn different things about the world.

For instance, he's LOVING football. A sport he's never been exposed to and is barely on for 5 seconds as we flip through channels at our house! But he's loving it and wants to spend some time getting immersed in it with his teammates.

It's a really grown up, and could be an emotionally hurtful situation to have to deal with to get him the reduction in anxiety and space the boy feels he desparately needs right now.

Their reactions as children of this modern age are so much better and kinder than mine were at the same age. I would have wanted to be kind, but I'm not sure I could have looked far enough beyond myself to do so. I wasn't nearly as responsible as the ones we've raised. [Hmmm. guess video games and TV might be good for something after all, and discussion of honor, chivalry and reading to them all about the Lord of the Rings and the Knights of the Round table....who'd a thunk it? *grin*]

from a puzzled goddess who can't do much more than advise.

My heart's joy...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

Sorry to people who are actually reading this that I've been missing days. Disability and pain are calling heavily this week. For some reason the more I need to be a mommy and DO stuff, the less disability wants to let me go. :( Go figure.

I've got to say that I'm enjoying some proud mommy and wife moments this week as well.
My so very dear husband is getting his feet under him and running with enthusiasm at his fairly new job. Which is so cool for me to see since he's intelligent enough that most jobs bore him to tears after about 2 months...we're almost a year now and he's still learning and pushing to expand his knowledge. Of course, computers always let you do that, for some reason they don't stay the same from month to month. :)



And the kids! Wow! They're mine, and I'm still impressed by them!

The boy is playing football for the VERY FIRST TIME EVER! (we don't watch it or really even understand all the rules in this house *grin*) and he is doing GREAT! He's starting! As a freshman! Yes, the team is small, only a few guys more than they need to field for defense and offense. But he played most of the game. He's the noseguard position I guess it's called. The one who stands opposite the center in the line and tries to tackle him. He also played a bit as running back, which he really likes because he's faster than a lot of kids his age.

I have to say that having him on the line was one of the reasons that I really didn't want him to play football. For a freshman, he's pretty big. Facing the seniors in this league, he's pretty small. The guy that was the center on the Jewel team they played friday was a behemoth! The boy said he was almost as tall as a door frame and just about as wide. Eek! And my poor 5"10" 200lb stripling is up against this! Ouch!

The coach told him that he had speed on the guy but not mass. My son's comment was, "Yah, think?" LOL The team lost, but they did better than last year's team so they were pretty happy. The boy is happy. He gets to actually HIT somebody, and it's LEGAL! So he's having a ball! He was kinda disappointed that he only came in 3rd on the team for the amount of blood on his jersey after the game though. :? It must be a guy thing...

And on the scholastic front, the boy actually did his MATH homework the night it was assigned! Not the night before it was due! Yay! [But then he lost it in the black hole he calls a room! Boo!] The teacher let him turn it in a few hours late, but I was happy that the kid is taking scholarship seriously this year! He's always had enough of a brain to pretty much skate, but I've wanted him to actually use it!


My daughter is also making us SO proud! We had to talk her into rejoining the Volleyball team this year because she had gotten so frustrated in her middle school years. She barely got to play and wasn't treated great by her teammates last year because she'd skipped a grade. The coach wouldn't let any of them forget it either as well as having some sportmanship problems that were just WRONG in a coach.

But we talked her into giving it a try anyway. She will need the extracurricular activities on her resume for college and this town only has volleyball and basketball. With her dislike of running, basketball isn't really an option. :)

She just LOVES her volleyball coach. She's been a positive role model, has given my daughter massive encouragement and has helped her bloom! The girl is the JV team CAPTAIN, as a freshman! Wow! She's also being trained to be their setter and to play defense. For those who don't play volleyball, it doesn't mean alot, but to be complimented like that on her control at her age (as a freshman who is a year younger or more than all the girls on the JV) this is incredible.

Remember, this is the girl who was barely allowed to play last year or the year before. And to top it off, she has now been named to the Taxi squad! Which means that she subs in for the VARSITY team as well! Yes, they have two freshman on the Varsity, but this is just fantastic! It is so nice that she feels positive and encouraged about something physical.

As for her academics, she continues to be responsible and proactive about her classwork. I don't know who she got it from, but gee I appreciate it. :)

from a puzzled goddess who is soaking in the reflected glory

Better moms need tranquilizers...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I think I'd be a better mom if they put me back on tranquilizers. I'm sure the kids would like me better, and that glowing fog sure would mute these depressive spirals.

I wasn't going to post because I'm so exhausted, but the kids have managed to start their first day of high school without any major problem. One more milestone passed.

Pain visited again on Monday and wasn't a polite guest, so I didn't sleep that night but stayed up to wake the kids and see them to their first day. Sometimes I don't know why I bother to push. I pushed on through the day and into the afternoon, just thinking I'd stay up long enough to find out about the first day of school and then collapse. I'd had Rick stay home to help me because I felt so awful.

I should have known better than to push that hard, but I so wanted to be there for the kids. I was in bad enough shape that the boy and I ended up having words because of the way he treats his sister and the way he was treating me when I was trying to find out what kind of haircut he wanted. [Note to self, let dad deal with teenagers when I'm in this much pain.]

I always bring on pissy attitudes and the sulks. I probably was impatient and snapped at him about the short timing and the effort it takes to drive 20 miles to get anything done. This haircut came out of the blue because his adductor muscle is still strained and he was going to have to sit out of practice. So, for him, it was a logical jump to have mom drive him into Hood River for a haircut when he wouldn't miss practice and would be ready, and able to see, by the game on Friday.

For me, it was an impossibility that made me depressed because I couldn't do it and was disappointed in myself, as I didn't have half my vision field clear...it was throwing spots like a psychedelic movie and it was becoming increasingly difficult to think through the pain. I was glad that Rick was there, and I could ask him to cover it.

But I was hurt that there was no concept that dad had stayed home because MOM was sick and MOM was too sick to drive him anywhere so he was being a demanding, self-involved teenage boy. (Do they ever get better? They must, his father is one of the most loving and patient men I know. There's more than one reason I married him. Though he'd tell you it was just the great sex. *grin*)

I know I jumped him about his chores and his laundry that has somehow piled up on his floor again in less than 24 hours. :| I got impatient when he couldn't pick out a hairstyle on line that would actually cut off enough of the extra growth to clear his vision, and I made the mistake of smacking his arm when he rudely popped off to his sister to shut up.

I hate that tone of voice, and I hate the way it makes his sister shrink inside; hel, I shrink inside when he uses it on me. I shouldn't have smacked the arm, that just escalated his behavior, but it was such a reflex when he used that nasty tone that I've been on him about for weeks.

We've ALL been trying to be better and more loving to each other. It's hard when you all have stresses and physical demands that seem to grow by the minute and are all intelligent enough to want to be treated like rational PEOPLE, whether you are acting like one at the current moment or not. :?

As a goddess of pain, I suck as a mom. I know that I finally retired from the field and left it all to dad because I was crying and depressed and at the point of wondering why I even put out the effort to exhaust myself when it's just taken for granted that I can do more when I'm already so overloaded I O.D'd on the pain meds just to get through their first day.

I'm wishing I felt more of the triumph and accomplishment I was feeling as I watched them walk into the school this morning, but the depression is bad enough that it's hard to see beyond it. I know that the girl tried to cuddle up next to me last night and help me to feel better, but when you feel like a failure it's hard to see accomplishment in being comforted by a 13 year old.

I should though. We're obviously doing something right, the compassion and caring were being expressed, and her very loving presence helps me to feel a bit better thinking about it now. And I know her brother feels them too; even if he demonstrates it at the weirdest moments. :)

It's hard to deal with a mom who's chronically depressed and in pain most of the time. I think they do better than I have any right to expect.

Enough of my five minutes of whining. I'm sure the kids will do something sterling today that will inevitably make this mom's new day SHINY.

I just have to look at the sky and try to remember optimism and the power of positive thinking, right? [Did whoever said that have teenagers?]

from a whiny puzzled goddess trying to make herself a better mom

Clothes from hel...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

I swear to all the gods that there is a Hel. It is going to the stores during back-to-school shopping with two teenagers...both of whom have very strong opinions on what they will and won't wear. Ugh! We just got home and I had to vent. Added to this nightmare is a nasty list that still has 3 stores to go...the most expensive three. :(

I really dislike going to Zumiez...the clerks always make me feel like I'm 300 years old and totally out of it in less than 30 seconds; it takes my kids at least an hour to make me feel like that. :)

About today. Did you know they only have about 3 different models of court shoes for girls at Big5? They have about 10 for guys...3 for girls. (Imagine that!)

Strangely, volleyball does pretty much need decent shoes if you aren't going to be plagued by shin splints like I was during my school sports era. Of course, in that day and age Nikes and Adidas had just come out and parents like mine regularly refused to spend that kind of money on tennis shoes or "sneakers". It wasn't evident then that shoes DO make a difference to how your feet develop and how much pain you're in during sports.

Me, I'm a soft touch parent as opposed to my parents, at least my husband thinks so. I say that I just want them to have the best experience they can have in school and stay physically active.

Something that I know will be a major challenge for my dear daughter. She's already about 5'5" and stacked to put it impolitely. Poor kid, we have an impossible time getting her the support she needs to run and be active. Until her current coach, she pretty much hated sports and anything to do with them. But her currrent coach is an absolute jewel and realizes that, without specially engineered undergarments, running and jumping are actually painful. Strangely enough, this has started to be addressed in the last few years and their are actually specially designed sports bras for more well endowed women. THEY BEEN A LONG TIME COMING!

I and my daughter have a theory. If guys had that much trouble supporting what was between their legs a heavy duty sling would have been invented in 30 seconds...oh wait, it was, it's called a jock strap. Now that women are finally in the undergarment industry we are actually seeing some clothes produced that help the problems a women's body has to deal with and be comfortable.

They may be ugly shoes and bras and pants, but gee, they're finally comfortable. It's always amazed me how much more comfortable male clothing is than female clothing. But that WAS in the days before guys had to use one hand to keep their pants from falling off their @ss when they walked fast.

My husband has an idea for a bra for our daughter; he found it here.

a puzzled goddess writing from clothing Hel...

Daily doubles and 3 hours of purgatory...

Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...

No, it's not Jeopardy or Dante's Inferno, it's the dreaded high school late summer sports practice schedule.

For those of you who don't know about it, let me fill you in...lets start with that titan clashing game of football that males seem to know and love (luckily, my male only watches if he has to). For some strange reason, high schools have decided that they need to practice TWICE in the same day, hence the dreaded daily doubles.

Now, as a mom, I wouldn't have a problem with this, hmmm, excercise...nice...but as the mom of a NINTH grader who doesn't drive yet, who lives over a mile from the local school...you get the picture. I was ready for my day to be a bit busier with ferrying kids back and forth, then came the revelation! This was to happen at FIVE A.M. and FIVE Thirty in the evening.

You caught that, right? FIVE A.M. So, of course, the boy has to get up 45 minutes to an hour before that. (He originally wanted to take a SHOWER before this practice...NOPE, mom's not getting up THAT early!)

So, since I know the boy won't wake himself up, I graciously (or not so graciously) wake my @ss out of bed to get him up and roll back in for about half an hour...then spring up again (yes, sarcasm) to drive him to the school. No, people who see me don't get smiles at this time in the morning. I'm the proud possessor of a T-shirt (somewhere) that reads, "I can't even talk at this time in the morning, and you want me to think?" That about describes it. So I nag him to get finished up and ready to go and I drive his rear down to the school and by the time I'm home I'm wide awake for the rest of the day.

Now, for most people this wouldn't be too bad, but for me, who is eating pain pills lately like candy so that I can just move, being awake is NOT a good thing. Unconsciousness, even with weird nightmares of people beating my body is better than vertical. Especially vertical, behind a steering wheel. No matter how short the drive.

Then we have the evening part of the 'daily doubles.' Yay, I get to do it all over again, after he's napped and showered and rubbed Aspercream all over his owies. LOL I shouldn't laugh at owies, but he was so righteous all summer about how he was going to stay in shape. Now he's eating a bit of his words...and they don't taste good. He comes by this skill honestly. (Eating words.)

If I had to do the practices, I'd be dead of a heart attack in about 10 minutes. :) But he's young and fit and strong, so it's a bit amusing.

Then we're on to purgatory and high school girl's volleyball. Think their 3 hour practice is easy? Hah, you haven't met their coach! She works those girls, HARD! And since my dd isn't the fastest, or the most athletic, she runs harder and longer and does more drills than the girls who win their friendly little competitions. Eeek! She also had great plans for staying in shape this summer...she too spent most of the summer in front of the computer instead.

Maybe I should be more like my mom and kick the kids out of the house in the morning to "play." The problem with that is living in a tourist town and being paranoid enough to want to know where your kids are at all times.

but this sleep deprived goddess still has some time before I need to pick up the kids (at wildly different times, of course.)

so may you all be spared the insanity of daily doubles and volleyball hell, from a puzzled goddess