Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...
Feelin' a bit whoosy tonight, probably left over meds and fatigue. But got some good bonding time with the family tonight. The kids went to practice and brought home another freshman from their class who needed some homework help.
He's a good kid. He's made some wrong choices in the last few years...like getting to 17 with 2.5 credits toward high school graduation. [It wasn't important, Obviously no one had ever explained how much it was, and gotten it through to him!] He is in most of the kids classes and seems to pick it up well. He's not stellar, but I've seen MUCH worse. And he hates feeling stupid so he's gone back to school so he doesn't have to feel that way. Probably smartest decision the kid ever made.
If he keeps up with it, the whole family has told him he's more than welcome to come over and study with the kids. We sometimes still talk about assignments and I learn stuff. :) Did you know how much science has changed in 25 years? I'm finding out!
The boy's got some of the concerns with having groupies/followers/stalkers/puppydogs whatever you want to call them, that the girl has been dealing with for quite a few years in various degrees. She's gotten much more compassionate to people who are outsiders though, she's had to deal with being a bullied outsider since we moved to this little school with many strangely raised children. She's a freak, but a freak with followers now and so finds some acceptance. Plus, she's discovered the wonderful feeling of being the BEST at something. SHE is the BEST in her school at scholastics. Not the quickest learner, but the one who listens and follows through and is responsible and thinking.
The boy isn't that geared to wanting to put a label on himself. He's a natural student (unfortunately it comes too easy to him), a natural athlete (though he does have to work to be a starter at his age) and he's a natural leader, being a boy with a strong sense of right and wrong and a genuine hero complex. He's been having to deal with 'followers' for years, and while it drives him nuts, he's been as pleasant as he could. And in some cases, he's even been the one following.
He's got a friend currently who is far from social adept (I'd have to say total social gamer geek.) This guy wants to be joined at the hip from the time they get to school until the boy goes to football practice. The kid isn't sports oriented, it's all video games...which is the trap we are working to get our son out of. We want him playing and moving in the real world.
It's taken this kid 2 years, but he's almost totally run my son's patience away. We keep counselling to redirect the conversations you don't want to participate in toward another subject. Be polite and don't cut him down, and may like hey, c-o-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-e and tell him that he's increasing your stress by constantly bringing gamer talk to school when you want to socialize with other people and learn different things about the world.
For instance, he's LOVING football. A sport he's never been exposed to and is barely on for 5 seconds as we flip through channels at our house! But he's loving it and wants to spend some time getting immersed in it with his teammates.
It's a really grown up, and could be an emotionally hurtful situation to have to deal with to get him the reduction in anxiety and space the boy feels he desparately needs right now.
Their reactions as children of this modern age are so much better and kinder than mine were at the same age. I would have wanted to be kind, but I'm not sure I could have looked far enough beyond myself to do so. I wasn't nearly as responsible as the ones we've raised. [Hmmm. guess video games and TV might be good for something after all, and discussion of honor, chivalry and reading to them all about the Lord of the Rings and the Knights of the Round table....who'd a thunk it? *grin*]
from a puzzled goddess who can't do much more than advise.
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It's been over a year. That's a lot of time to think. I'll probably never
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When our boy was much younger we had a long talk about the neighbor's kids. They're much younger than our kids, and the youngest, a boy, hero worshipped our boy. I explained to O that as much as a pest as the neighbors kids might be, as time passes the difference in age will seem to shrink, and he has the opportunity to make a potentially invaluable friend--but only if he doesn't blow it now.
What I didn't explain to O is that patience and kindness toward someone who is driving you nuts is an incredibly valuable skill. It can save your job, give you the ability to counsel people in desperate need of help, and give you emotional tools that you'll value your whole life.
As the neighbor's kids have grown it's been fun to watch that age difference shrink, just as I knew it would. I don't know if our kids and their kids will stay close. It's rare for friendships to remain from very young ages. But as the younger set matures they become less and less obnoxious to the older ones and O&A are actually asking if they can go next door to play. And who knows? The friendships may last.
I hope gamer kid matures out of the non-stop game and clinginess. I know how really nastily annoying that can get. Ugh.
He's not a bad kid, (I don't think!)He's just one that won't talk to parents even if you try to start a conversation, so I have even less insight than I'd like. :)
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