Some goddesses are puzzled by this...like me...
A friend of mine who has a talent for looking at the world in a slightly different way commented on the dead people garden in our town..."but when you water them, they don't grow." He said in a very confused voice to my son.
No, dead people gardens don't grow, but people do walk them and feel serene and at peace in them or they even used to picnic in them so that the whole family could be together. Whatever side of the veil they happened to be on :)
The only cemetery walk my family has done so far was discussed here:
http://prowett.tripod.com/id57.html
My files of dead ancestors are a collection of "dead people." Most of them forgotten, and barely missed if that...But I always wondered about that picture of my mom dressed up like a gangster's moll in college on her way to a dance, the one of my dad at Bartow Air Force Base in front of the plane, the woman with my grandmother who nobody can really identify, and my two dead uncles who never made it out of infancy. Each one of their stories is a flower that I hope to make bloom for my family so that they have a solid sense of their foundation and where they come from.
I had a heart attack scare a few years ago...now most people who know me would say that I'm too young for that...well when goddesses are put on meds that make the heart go faster and on other meds that make the arteries get larger, others that make them smaller and still others that overwork the kidneys....the poor body gets confused...the final consensus was that it was probably esophogeal (sp?) spasming or a minor case of angina...huh...weird that the treatment was the same for either, Nitroglycerin that skyrocketted my pain scale so high for my migraine that I wanted to go right back into the ER and have them surgically remove my head!
But that's beside the point, the point kinda was that the experience of not being sure I would live to see my children graduate middle school, let alone high school or college, made me reassess my priorities, and what I might want to leave my children.
Thus, my rededication to trying to give my family their roots and the stories of their ancestors.
That was one of the few projects that I had in the works that I REALLY regretted not having in a more completed form...so the books went on hold, the art projects, the crafts, the time wasters and things that didn't directly allow me to interact with my family, or to give them the information that I so sorely missed when both my parents died so young.
I'm better now. LOL
If you want to read my few posts about genealogy for the Prowett family:
http://prowett.tripod.com/id53.html
The main site is here:
http://prowett.tripod.com
For the Fuecker/Miller/Ward families:
http://fuecker.tripod.com/quest.html
The main site is here:
http://fuecker.tripod.com
I've stopped adding the story to those pages, since space is limited on them. I keep them around because they give people a way to contact me if we might be related. (Doesn't everyone want to be related to a goddess?) In reality, a lot more is happening with the research for those families on private family only sites, so if you're related and interested in the main family lines (Fuecker or Prowett) contact me and we'll see about getting you an invite to the sites.
I've been so pain riddled the last few years that I've done very little new research, I'm still trying to catch up to the information so many wonderful people have sent me...I'll get there eventually, slow and steady. Adding color and scent to this garden of dead people that I seem to be cultivating. I think it's important that my kids will be able to look through the window of my words and reap a bountiful harvest. Nobody famous, or particularly colorful, just tough, brave, pig headed people who refused to give up.
While I'm looking and learning, I'll keep walking, enjoying the beauty of my surroundings and trying to understand these things called teenagers that have suddenly appeared in my life...
Blessings to all of you from a Puzzled Goddess...
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2 comments:
The NeverEnding dead people Story?
;-)
This reminds me that it's been a long, long time since I've walked in my father's forever garden. Ironic, since I walk in our pets' forever garden fairly often, and wish them well. I miss them in a different way, but at the moment I can't define what that way is.
ROFLMAO....I KNEW I liked the way your mind worked...that would have been a much better title, or tag line! LOL
Some of the difference in the missing , I think is that the pets are furry and you love them, but you expect their loving presence in your life to be transitory...humans you don't think about in quite that way.
The loss of parents (or I'm sure children) is even harder. I know that after I watched mom die on April 5. I woke up on April 6, 2004 and was scared to death that I was suddenly walking on a tightrope with no fricking net in sight and without the skills to keep myself (or worse, my family) from falling. It's a very scary feeling. One of the reasons I'm so determined to make as much as I can of the time I have with my family.
Love you, pg.
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